When family says no to your love
You need to decide if their concerns are valid
If there’s any symbolism we can take away from shows like Mzansi Magic’s Date My Family, it’s certainly our families’ importance in our choice of partners.
While Date My Family is for pure entertainment, the reality is that not everyone enjoys the luxury of their family being accepting of their relationship choices. In some instances, things can get very ugly, where the family is so against one’s choice of partner that ultimatums are set, and one is forced to choose between their partner and their family. Who would you choose? Does it all depend on the reasons why the family is so against your relationship?
Relationship counsellor Scelo Mnc ube certainly thinks so, and while some people have gone on to defy their fam- ilies, here is his advice.
“You have to determine if the family’s reasons for assassinating your partner’s character are valid, in the sense that they are no personal agendas or something unfounded, blown out of proportion or a pure fabrication,” he says
“You can do this by firstly sitting down with your family, and hearing them out without being defensive. Let them lay all their concerns on the table.
“Next, you need to observe your partner and determine if your family’s concerns match your partner’s character.
“Eventually, you need to decide if the family’s concerns are valid or if it’s something that you can live with and handle with your partner.”
Finally, you must decide if the concerns are valid