What to do when taximen come visiting
Gigaba
Vera never imagined she would live to see the day on which she would be in agreement with a taximan. But this is a land of miracles.
Abomageza held a typically chaotic march in and around Pretoria on Wednesday, leaving pandemonium in their wake as they protested against the rule of law – what else?
Vera was impressed when throngs of the unwashed found in their midst two toppies who somewhat have a way – by abomageza standards – with the Queen’s lingo.
One of them took over the mic when they got to the Union Buildings, where he urged Namba Wan to tell Gigabyte – whom he referred to as “the best-dressed minister in the southern hemisphere” – to make sure he gave them some nyuku when next he drew a budget.
Impressive, this “southern hemisphere” stuff, especially from this lot. They don’t make taximen like they used to, do they?
View from the peephole
And, why did Namba Wan hide, when a crowd with whom he would feel more at home – his type – came knocking at his door? Ukubhekile usis’Vera, wena Namba Wan.
We sees you!
Namba Wan school of dance
Vera caught sight of some fellow who has seen better days, doing weird things behind the podium at an alleged OR Tambo lecture by Namba Wan in Kagiso on Sunday.
Pictures do lie sometimes, but even in still images Vera has never seen anyone dance so out of tune!
Namba Wan, please do some work you’re more suited to and teach Carl the Dancer at least how to do the toyi-toyi, will you?
Is Bob unplugged?
Under Namba Wan, Mzansi has modelled itself on the madness of Uncle Bob the other side of the river; it seems anything he can do, we can do, if not even better.
This leaves Vera worried that Buffalo will be as good as minced meat if Nkandla chose to ape the latest Harare episode. A letter purportedly written by Bob to fire his deputy, claimed a comrade of more than 50 years had suddenly been found to exhibit “traits of disloyalty, disrespect, deceitfulness, and unreliability”. And “off with his head” it was; the dangers of feeding the beast in the hope that it won’t eat you – eh, Mnangagwa?
Vera, you have mail ...
Speaking of letter-writing, Vera is proud to announce that her collection of love missives from her prince charming has swelled again, umtwana has been thinking of her.
He did not take lightly to what she wrote about his aversion to life without the title “president of the IFP”, and duly put pen to paper.
Indeed, age has taken its toll. Usually, the missive would be the size of a booklet rather than the miserly half page he dispatched this time – bereft of the usual bombastic words. It left Vera feeling somewhat cheated.
And he takes Coke as well
So, our champion woman-basher and poster boy for misogyny has another claim to fame. He paid for what must be the most expensive can of Coca-Cola in history. Our hero’s criminal record states that he paid a R500 fine after his arse was bust for stealing a can of Coke.
Yena aya kwini, vele. A ya kwini?
Bhaka Bhaka kwezenjani
Orlando Pirates! Eish, the less said the better. See graphic below.