When a child picks one parent
Look into your behaviour , something could be rubbing off on young ones
Malebo* shared with us how her marriage almost fell apart two years ago. It was not because of cheating or any abuse in the relationship, but because of these words: “I want daddy! I want daddy!”
These words were uttered by her five-year-old son while she was tucking him in one night while her husband, who is a security officer, was on the night shift.
Initially, Malebo says she dismissed it and reassured her son that daddy would be home in the morning when he wakes up, but she says that from that day onwards, she started noticing a pattern. “I’m a stay-athome mom, so I usually spent most time with my son because my husband was either exhausted and sleeping from one of his shifts or at work.
“But when he would come home, my son would be ecstatic and over the moon the minute he walked through the door. This was normal, I told myself, because he had missed his dad, but things got more difficult from there.
“He would be all moody all day, not saying a word to me for most of the day and constantly looking out of the window for any sign of his dad.”
Malebo says when her son started showing his preference for his father – even lying about her not giving him food all day to his dad – she had had enough and decided to speak to her husband about it.
“His response shocked me. He actually accused me of being jealous of my son and trying to compete with him for his affection. I was so hurt. All I was trying to do was informing my husband of a behavioural pattern [that was worrying]. I was hurt that he had brushed me off like that.
“I felt rejected by both my husband and my son.”
Most parents who have experienced a child pitting two parents against each other may relate to this story, but educational psychologist Nombulelo Nzama, who specialises in early childhood development, says that it is completely normal.
“Kids tend to play favourites for various reasons. Sometimes they are just testing the boundaries and sometimes it can be their way of trying to forge different relationship dynamics.
“However, although it can be hard, parents need to learn to separate their emotions from the situation. At the end of the day, this is just a child.”
Nzama says the child’s reasons could lead back to the parents themselves.
“Parents need to remember that children are like sponges, and absorb everything around them. If a child shows preferences in specific activities like the reading of a bedtime story, for example, it could be harmless and just means they enjoy the experience more with the particular parent.
“If it is a pattern of prefer-
Surprisingly, the single, Awesome God, is pretty good.
Madi just questions his choice to be in the entertainment industry again. I mean after your ordeal Mr Jub, Madi would have thought you would open a shisanyama in Nelspruit somewhere and move on with your life.
But, the heart wants what the heart wants, I guess.
Nevertheless, Madi is so proud of the 360 turnaround he seemingly has made since bidding stomach-churning prison food goodbye. He really seems like he wants to improve his life, and Madi wishes him all the luck in the world. Bathong,