A Penny for Bob’s bedtime talk with Grace
Hangover for days
Vera is really feeling Bobalaased at the mere mention of Ara Gee.
Yes, that’s a new word that was coined by a listener on the Eusebius McKaiser Show the other day. As you might have guessed, it means nursing a massive hangover, the morning after the night you celebrated Bob’s final fall from grace.
Don’t wake up sleeping heads
Now Bob and Grace know exactly what is meant by “a week is a lifetime in politics”.
Two weeks ago Grace was lord of all she surveyed. She could almost see herself ruling Zimbabwe without pretending to be anybody’s wife – especially with the old goat given to napping at the most inopportune of times.
Page missing
When Bob somehow lost the crucial page from which he was going to read out his resignation live on TV the other night, Vera was convinced the wily old fox had again pulled off a trick to end all tricks.
Phela, he is in the same WhatsApp group with Namba Wan, ophunyuka bemphethe laba!
One-man war games
However, the generals proved they were made of sterner stuff and are real soldiers – unlike a certain Gupta-certified colonel, who was exposed this week for playing soldier, uniform and all.
What’s wrong with this guy mara? First he dreams up a nonexistent shebeen and the next thing we had izidakwa prowling the streets of Saxonwold – looking for a famed drinking hole that never was.
’S true’s Bob, he’s gone
So, eventually Bob went when Bob felt like going – coup lite or not.
Vera was starting to imagine him retiring – if such a word exists in his vocabulary – to the master bedroom after every day of the supposed coup to tell Grace about the fun he had with the buffoons in the other room, and how he made the world sit up and watch his amperresignation – live on television nogal.
Reality TV has never been that good.
In the end, the old fart took pity on all of us and decided to quit. Otherwise we were in for the long haul, if evidence of how they planned to impeach him was anything to go by.
Kicking a man when he’s down
Vera couldn’t believe what she read in a newspaper about how they planned to impeach him.
Part of the plan was to charge him because “he collapsed in the full glare of the world, because the feet and brain don’t talk to each other”.
You can’t make this stuff up. Vera has lost a few hairs trying to figure out how a senile old man tripping on a carpet can be construed as being treasonous.
Ja, neh, speak of kicking a man when he is already falling, even if it’s done retrospectively.
Off with sleepists’ heads
The indictment started off by saying that Bob was given to falling asleep “during public functions”.
Now that’s something to fire the whole lot in Gogo Baleka’s House – starting with the Hole in the Head herself, a sleepist of note.
Now that would be solid ground to get rid of uBaba ka Duduzane, seeing that all else has failed thus far. Remember the big snooze he took while Gigabyte tried his hand at this budget thing a few weeks ago?
When heavy duty calls
Vera got into the Papa Penny action a tad late this season.
She had hoped to see some improvement after Mzansi Magic promised Season 2 would be better scripted, making for even better TV.
Vera has not noticed any difference. If anything, she feels more sorry for whoever is tasked with writing the subtitles. They deserve the Order of OR Tambo, or something of the sort, phela translating that goobledegook is heavy duty – despite Penny Penny declaring that Xishangana hi Xilungu.