Tips for Silili’s long road to the presidency
uTata, uBaba and ...?
A colleague and a dear friend of Vera’s asked: “Now that we have had uTata, the Chief and uBaba ka Duduzane aka Namba Wan– what lies ahead for unsuspecting South Africans now that Buffalo won the Khongolose shindig last month?”
One thing for certain is, though it cannot be a foregone conclusion that uKhongolose will win the next election, we have someone looking decidedly presidential in this fellow who traces his roots to the people in the North, ndaa Vho-Matamela, mulalo.
While you’re pondering what’s in store for us as a people, Vera would like to suggest a few things to Buffalo to help make this thing a success.
She noted, gladly, that you have extended a hand of reconciliation, albeit with the shiftylooking Mr Unity by your side, to those wrecked at Naswreck. There is none of the triumphalism post-Polokwane when uBaba won the oneman singing contest there. Keep it up.
Call the fashion police
One area though where Vera feels you’ll need to pull up your socks, in a manner of speaking, is your dress sense. She liked the idea, the other day, of a man who would be president waking up in the early hours of the day to jog on the beach.
But those socks ... OMG! What were you thinking Silili – as the folks in the Kingdom by the Sea call you as they try to wrap their hard-asnails rural Zulu tongues around
Cyril.
Those definitely are not presidential. They reminded Vera of some rural Penny Penny-type we used to have at the helm here eGoli.
The fellow held no fear of screaming colour and wouldn’t hesitate to wear a dapper suit and somehow still manage to expose his bright red or lime-green socks. No, no, no. It may be a thing with you fellows from the North, but puhleeze.
Beware the ambush, still
Vera knows, though, that you made a chunk of some of your billions through McDonald’s, and it’s possible you simply couldn’t resist the temptation for some ambush marketing.
It didn’t work, sir. An ambush will never work out in a buffalo’s favour, if you get Vera’s drift.
Baba can do that for a fee
And also watch out for this singing and dancing thing. It is better left to the professionals such as uBaba kaDuduzane, who somehow found time to play president in between his singing, dancing and spreading the seed outside the vast marital kraal – with an odd sprog sprouting here and there, time and again.
When uBaba goes
It was indeed a very productive presidency this. Vera will truly miss him when he finally goes; not that way, silly!
Sobering times
The time to reap what people sow has a way of humbling even the ultra-arrogant among us. Did you see how even Badakiwe tried her grovelling best when uSilili came to town to pay iSilo a courtesy visit?
Vera is not on Motata Tea, and she can see right through you, Sis Badakiwe. And it’s only a few weeks into Silili’s reign ... yisende lendlela.
Singing the Blues
Vera will watch this space but at this rate we might see uBaba dressed like this someday.
Happy 2018, everyone!