Life lessons from our kids
Parents share how children can help you grow
Have you ever noticed how, in those vintage martial arts films, the student eventually becomes the teacher after overtaking the master?
This is a life lesson that many have learned, particularly parents.
Although most of the times parents may miss the subtle lessons that they get daily from their children or dismiss them, the truth is: children can teach you a lot about yourself and life in general as a parent, despite you being the one who gave life to them.
Two parents say that they have learned a lot from their kids and have even became better human beings based on the lessons they got from these little human beings.
Phumzile Kubheka is a 33-year-old mother who works as an administrator and workshop organiser at Credit Insurance company.
She lives in Dobsonville, Soweto, and has two kids – son Katlego, aged 11, and daughter Karabo, who is four.
“I must say, I have learned so many things from my kids. I used to be this strict mother who would be so loud and shout when they did something wrong.
“One day my son said to me: ‘Mom, do you know that I’m human like you and I can hear? So you don’t have to shout at me because the minute you shout I become confused and scared’.
“I did not see that coming. That broke my heart. I started re-evaluating not only how I spoke to my kids but to people in general.
“The lesson I took away was that it is not how loud you are, but the quality of what you say and how you say it that makes people sit up and pay attention,” she says.
Kubheka’s other lesson was a painful one. She says that she learned the value of not being in an abusive relationship because of kids.
“I was married to an abusive man who used to beat me up every weekend and he did it in front of my kids.
“He did it for seven years. One day my son came to visit me in hospital and pleaded with me to leave his dad because he would kill me, and said that he needed me more.
“I was done. I realised that we as parents often think we are protecting our kids and doing them good by staying with an abusive spouse, often because we don’t want our kids to be from a divorce background. What my son said woke me up. I finally left my abuser,” she says.
Majane Maqalika, from Molapo in Soweto, who is also a single mom, says that the biggest lesson she has learned from her 13-year-old son Mpho is unconditional love. “My son loves me immensely. He really is my pillar of strength and can be very overprotective of me.
“This has, in return, allowed me to think better of myself and realise that I am worthy.
“I now make better choices in life because I know that even if the world can turn its back on me, there is always that one person who loves me regardless, and it is a very reassuring feeling.”
‘‘ What my son said woke me up. I finally left my abuser