The Mam’Winnie I will remember

Not a vengeful person, and she understood need for reconciliation

Imet Nelson and Winnie Mandela at a very turbulent and violent time in South Africa’s history.

It was 1990, and although Mandela had been released from prison and exiles were returning in large numbers, no one knew what the future would hold.

Living in the Mandela family home in Soweto, when I returned from exile, was like living with family.

And sitting with her listening to her terrible experiences in prison and her visits to Mandela, when they were not allowed to hug or touch, was the most painful thing.

These were the trials that really built rather than broke her character. She had to sacrifice her family and she experienced the worst things. I believe that’s why she was so fearless.

But she was not a vengeful person, and she understood the need for reconciliation.

She understood that once you destroyed the apartheid system, the biggest challenge would have been dealt with.

Mam’ Winnie was always a critical thinker. She had a good sense of self-reflection in herself and her own environment.

She had wonderful ideas about South Africa’s future that helped lay a solid foundation for our democracy.

The Bill of Rights is mirrored on preventing the kinds of human rights abuses that Winnie went through, such as detention without trial and solitary confinement. And our Constitution is built on the tears of women like her; women who wept for their children, the blood of those who paid the ultimate price and the sweat of the women and men who laboured for freedom for future generations.

Mam’Winnie never massaged the truth to make others feel comfortable.

I remember, in the 1990s, that it was she who raised the questions that ordinary people were asking: “Why are we negotiating with the people who are killing us?”

It is unfortunate that Mam’Winnie was demonised during and after the Struggle in a character assassination that was started by the apartheid government.

It was clear to me that it was a deliberate effort to discredit her because she had an enormous following and the aim was to discourage her supporters.

But before Mam’Winnie’s death, she was optimistic about the country’s future, and there are encouraging signs that our next phase of building has begun.

We can honour her memory and sacrifices by ensuring that we improve on the South Africa that we were entrusted with.