Joint ruling on smoking pot puts the nation on a high

Smoking hot

Not since the Oscar Pistorius verdict has a court decision been so high on the nation’s agenda.

Even the fans of the retired fellow from Nkandla, who tend to see a counter-revolutionary rat under any judge’s robe, were chanting “irie” to the most high of our courts.

They were even willing to smoke a peace pipe with deputy chief justice Raymond Zondo, the man they have all along been trying to label as an agent of white monopoly capital dressed in green robes.

Rolling out the ruling

Not that Vera goes anywhere near the green stuff, but she was also impressed by how Majiya, as those of Zondo’s clan are called, handled the marijuana ruling. Sure, it wasn’t his own alone – the entire ConCourt bench concurred. That should make it a Joint ruling, right?

But despite his hands being full with all the state capture commission stuff, Majiya took time out to deliver this important judgment.

Vera can’t help but wonder where chief justice Mogoeng Mogoeng was. Imagine if it was justice Mogoeng, a lay preacher in a Joburg church, who had read out the ruling. Blessed, the judgment would have been mon!

Scales of justice

People of the South, please balance Vera here. If the judgment was read out by the deputy justice, why is everybody hailing it as the DD Mabuza ruling? What has the deputy president got to do with it? Silimele yazi!

Leading role auditions

Had the court not said one can possess the spliff only for private use, Vera would have already bought a kilogram to send as a gift to poor Mmusi Maimane. He is struggling, the Dobsonville preacher man shem.

He entered politics with a bang, believing himself to be a Mini Barack Obama. Then when that did not work out, he refashioned himself as Madiba. Now that it is clear no one is taking him seriously, he nominated himself as the next Helen Zille!

To add salt to injury, his own party said no – telling him that a greyhaired guy by the name of Alan Winde would be more convincing playing the role of Helen.

Coming full circle

Those of Vera’s friends who were around in the bad old days would remember Ziba Jiyane, the chubby IFP man with a clean-shaven face and a Rebecca Malope haircut who used to be Shenge’s best intellectual praise singer in the 1990s.

Since Shenge refused to anoint him as a successor, Jiyane has been some sort of a political journeyman.

First he left in a huff to form his own political party, then his own party kicked him out and so he formed another one. He soon quit politics only to return as part of the Democratic Alliance in 2011.

Jiyane did not stay long there, defecting to the ANC. This January he announced that he has joined the National Freedom Party.

And just yesterday he Facebooked: “I have decided to renew my membership of the IFP after overwhelmingly warm & loving invitations from IFP democrats... now home!”

Does that mean the Prince of KwaPhindangene is finally going to anoint him?

All this party-hopping by Jiyane can really drive a girl to weed!