Trusty chairman gone as SA changes at breakneck speed
Tito Mboweni, sha sha...
Sjoe! A week is really a long time in politics! And two weeks? An eternity.
Last time Vera spoke to you darlings, Nhlanhla Nene was living up to his clan name Sthenjwa (the trusted one) at National Treasury.
She takes a few days off to do her nails and, dukuduku, Nene has fallen off the chair for good to be replaced by a pensioner who happens to be hit with hip-hop head?
Thixo wase George Goch, Baba ka Duduzane would say.
From uBaba to Makwavo...
Speaking of Baba ka D, Vera has been worried that he may be very lonely given that his favourite son is sun-tanning with the Guptas in Dubai.
It turns out Vera needs not worry as Baba is in the same WhatsApp group with one Floyd Shivambu, the deputy commander-in-chief of the toy army in red berets.
Vera can only imagine WhatsApp messaged between the two fellow travelers:
JG: Hello there. This is Baba kaDuduzane, is this the WhatsApp number for Makwavo wa Brian? Hehehe!
Floyd: (Blue ticks Baba - never responds).
Thuma this financial whizzkid!
But what of Brian Shivambu’s press statement though? The cheek!
The younger Shivambu would have us believe that he only left his job at the EFF in June last year “to focus on my business interests” and has already amassed so much wealth in a short space of time that he can donate over a million rand to the party from his pocket?
If true, his would be economic freedom at a supersonic speed.
Fighters lost for words
Throughout the saga, Floyd has kept unusually quiet. You’d swear he isn’t the same guy just a few days ago who was moving from one TV studio to the next, demanding that Nene falls on his sword on allegations that his son Siyabonga may have unfairly benefitted from the Public Investment Corporation.
Rose among the thorns
Vera does not do much reading these days, what with the Real Housewives of Jozi and other ‘reality’ shows taking most of her time these days. But when Sowetan suggested that the VBS reports reads like an action movie script, she just had to get hands on a copy.
Paging through it, she was disappointed by the lack of a love scene.
What is a gangster movie without a bad sex scene afterall? Then she noticed that there were hardly any female character.
That was until she reached the part of the report where they talk about Baba’s BFF, Dudu Myeni.
As the old saying, where there is Dudu Myeni, there is fire.
Bushwhacked comrades
A little bird tells Vera that, frustrated by his comrades lack of loyalty to him, President Cyril Ramaphosa has resorted to vacation diplomacy.
Tired of hearing that Ace has wandered off to listen to the Nkandla Crooner’s “when we were” speeches in Maharani, CupCake decided he will have a bonding session with his top six at a ranch somewhere in the north.
Details are still sketchy, but the bosberaad appears to have been such a success that some of the “staunch Zuma loyalists” in the top 6 are said to be now singing from the Thuma Mina hymn.
Mix the Oros right this time
How did Vera miss this? Minister Nathi Mthethwa is in a committee to ensure that the Youth League elects a new president. Last time he was involved, Collen Maine was elected. Expect another lame and not so young lion to emerge then.