Learning to take a hit and carry on
Margaret Harris
You work as a counsellor — what exactly does your job involve?
I work for iKhambi Care, which is a medical firm, and I am part of a great team that consists of a medical doctor, nurses and paramedics. My job involves dealing with the everyday heartaches this life brings — anxiety, depression and all kinds of trauma such as death, accidents, hijacking and abuse. In some cases, I get different authorities involved or refer someone to a psychiatrist for hospitalisation. You are a counsellor at Emperors Palace. Do you see employees of the casino or its visitors?
The clinic is here firstly for staff, but we also tend to visitors if the need arises. What are the most common problems facing your patients? Why do you think this is the case?
Marital problems, domestic violence, HIV, stress and depression. Why? Because the world isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. It is a mean and nasty place and will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently, if you let it. You, me or anybody else won’t hit as hard as life does. But it isn’t about how hard you’re hit, it is about how hard you can get hit and still keep moving — how much you can take and keep moving forward, to quote Sylvester Stallone. You use a dog, a golden retriever called Buddy, as part of your therapy. What does Buddy do and in what kinds of circumstances would you would use him?
Buddy, who is four years old, has
Joe Adlem is the counsellor on call for staff at Emperors Palace, in northeastern Johannesburg. When he realised the world did not consist merely of rainbows and sunshine, it made him want to heal some of the hurt, he tells
been trained through Paws for People as a therapy K9. He is also chopper trained, boat trained, narcotics trained and serves as a search-andrescue K9. He works and stays with me, but he is the property of iKhambi.
The goal of animal-assisted therapy is to improve a patient’s social, emotional or cognitive functioning. Advocates say that animals can be useful for educational and motivational effectiveness for participants.
A therapist who brings along a pet may be viewed as being less threatening, thus increasing the rapport between patient and therapist.
Animals used in therapy include domesticated pets, farm animals and marine mammals such as dolphins.
Researcher and biologist Edward Wilson hypothesised that our attachment to and interest in animals stemmed from the strong possibility that human survival was partly dependent on signals from animals in the environment indicating safety or threat. Wilson’s biophilia hypothesis suggests that now, if we see animals at rest or behaving in a peaceful way, we feel safe and secure and have a feeling of wellbeing. This in turn may trigger a state where personal change and healing are possible. Why did you choose therapy for your career?
To help heal some of the hurt in this world. What qualities do you need to be a counsellor?
I do not know about the qualities, but what I do know is that it must be a calling and a passion. This is not just a career choice or a job. How do you make sure that you do not become too badly affected by the problems your patients talk to you about?
I think it is impossible not to become affected by my patients, but my rock is my wife, Anri, who has a PhD in social work. We listen to each other and do nice things with our children and Buddy and the dogs. What did you want to be when you were a child?
A firefighter, which I am, when I get the chance to volunteer. What five things can we each do to improve our mental health?
ý Assess the strength of your needs while learning how to obtain the proper amounts for your happiness.
We all have five basic human needs: connection, freedom, significance, survival and enjoyment.
Although we share that in common, the strength of our needs vary. The key to happiness is to engage in behaviour that brings you the precise amount of each need you want;
Understand and take responsibility for your choices. You have choices in every situation. You may not have any “good” choices or choices you like, but there are choices nonetheless.
When you let go of the victim mentality and embrace the choice aspect of all you do, you will feel empowered;
Make the connection between your behaviour and your progress or lack thereof. We often look to outside “causes” for our success — or lack thereof — and forget to look at what we are doing or not doing to move us towards our goals;
Understand the power of your perception and how to change it. We often make up stories about people and events in our lives that have nothing to do with the facts of the situation. They are simply our interpretation. If your perception isn’t serving you, change it; and
Find the balance in all things. Everything that happens to you has equal positive and negative qualities; a yin and a yang, pros and cons.
The truth is that both sides are always present — it just depends on where you place your focus.
Seeing both sides equally will improve your mental health.