This has to be the closest thing Joburg has to the American Midwest barbecue joint, writes Bryan van Niekerk
T he first and indeed last time we found ourselves in the flat expanse of snowcovered mielie fields that calls itself Omaha, Nebraska, it was Y2K. The internet hadn’t exploded, the world hadn’t ended and we weren’t living in a bomb shelter. Instead, we were in the coldest, flattest, most conservative place west of Bloem with what has to be one of the highest strip-mall per capita ratios in the world.
And it was here, deep in these parking lot-straddling discount shopping eyesores, that we found Omaha’s barbecue joints, greasy shrines to lip-smacking meaty goodness and the primary force behind Middle-American obesity.
Burgers, shoestring fries, smoky ribs and buffalo wings were consumed by the cartload. We would stumble into the snowcovered parking lot to try and find our rental among the tank-like SUVs.
This sort of experience has proven to be an elusive one and for the past 14 years we have waited patiently for a strip-mall burger joint to surface in the Big Smoke.
We finally got a lead on a place on Randburg’s Malibongwe Drive and decided to investigate — at different times of the day, just to be thorough.
Here is RocoMamas from two different perspectives:
Take One: 3.30pm on a weekday
I parked in the strip-mall lot, just outside the restaurant. It looked like a patio that had been covered with plastic and converted into a grill house. The place feels wholly unpretentious, working-class even. Just like Omaha. It has the now ubiquitous selection of mainstream craft beers and the menu boasted burgers as well as ribs and wings of varying flavours. I would imagine that pre-matching or late night stomach-linings and middle management business
lunches are the general clientele. The orange, black and white colour scheme reminded me of a car audio conversion business. I hoped the taste of the burgers would trump the taste of the decorator.
As this week’s theme is avocado, I opted for a choose-your-own 150g beef burger with avo, cheddar, onions and the usual trimmings. I ticked the boxes on the order form-cum-menu and handed it to one of the army of staff who seemed to be waiting for some sort of burger Armageddon, like doctors at Bara casualty before a Pirates vs Chiefs derby.
My burger arrived and it was good. My only issue was that it was covered in guacamole which overshadowed the flavour of the meat. Avo is a great burger neutraliser and I would never ordinarily order one lathered in the stuff, so my weekly thematic consideration compromised my burger experience. That isn’t RocoMamas’ fault though so I sent in the second unit to give them a proper go.
This time without the avo.
Take Two: Week night
RocoMamas bustles at night — packed tables turning over at a rate, and queues for take-aways. There are no reservations, but we didn’t have to wait long for a table. What must be the highest ratio of supervisors to staff makes for efficient service, almost too efficient, the kind that has three different people within a space of 15 minutes asking if everything is OK.
The first signs were good — a bottle of Heinz ketchup brought to the table with the cutlery. We tried the Classic Cheese (R43), a 150g patty with aged cheddar, sweet pickle, tomato, red onion and mayo, with string fries. The patty was succulent real beef, freshly prepared on the premises and guaranteed to satisfy any patty purist. The fries were hot, crisp and generously spiced.
The age of the bespoke burger is upon us. A smorgasbord of 20 different toppings awaits you, with the challenge to mix and match and create the ultimate burger. That way, you can take at least some of the credit for what must be one of the best burgers in town.
Shop 19, Appletons Village, corner Hill Street and Malibongwe Drive, Randburg, Johannesburg, (011) 791-5928, www.rocomamas.com