Why all the fervour over mind games

SPORT’S central myth is that it requires thinking. Nonsense. It requires doing. But the industry that has sprung up to make players believe they can think themselves to triumphs and trophies will admit this over their dead careers.

Cricket is low-hanging fruit for these charlatans. For every player at the World Cup there is an unequal number of consultants and analysts. What the hell are they all doing when a game of cricket is about nothing more than bowling, hitting, fielding, catching or throwing a ball?

That’s all there is to it. If you bowl, hit, field, catch or throw the ball better than the other team — or do more of those disciplines better — you will win. There is no mental battle to be won on a cricket field. At least, there wouldn’t be if teams did not fall victim to the psychobabble spewed by the swamis.

Doing, not thinking, wins World Cups. England, the undisputed champions in perpetuity of over-thinking, have already paid the price for spending the tournament in their own heads. At this rate, they are going to need a boarding-pass analyst and a seatbelt consultant to make it home in one piece.

Before South Africans dissolve into fits of schadenfreude, they should know that their team are not far behind the pathetic Poms as mental marshmallows.

As the World Cup has moved glacially towards its sharp end, SA’s players have become less like what they are — a bunch of young men paid handsomely to chase a ball — and more like paranoid robots.

On Thursday, after SA disposed of the United Arab Emirates in Wellington and with the quarterfinal clock ticking ever more loudly, David Miller was asked if the squad were enjoying themselves.

“Definitely. We’ve got a good thing going, a great environment at the moment with AB and the management. It’s a privilege to be a part of this set-up, and I think the guys are really enjoying their cricket in the group stages so far. And it’s a great place to tour, as well. So on and off the field I think there’s been a lot of enjoyment, and that’s really important.”

That looks good in print, but the emotional truth of it was that Miller said all that without the merest hint of a smile. The next day, Rilee Rossouw struggled to not say the word “pressure” at a press conference.

Perhaps that was why team management asked reporters not to share recordings of Rossouw’s interview. Or has the paranoia reached the suits, too?