Fêted and mocked, a tyrant swans through on his farewell tour

UNCLE Bob paid us a visit this week, and true to character, he didn’t mince his words. He chided and dispensed advice with gay abandon.

He even made short shrift of the age-old protocol of not commenting on the internal affairs of his host, delving into the raging controversy over the statue of Cecil John Rhodes.

“You have his statue, we have the man himself,” he said, almost as if he were boasting.

“I don’t know what you think we should do. Dig him up? I say leave him down there, that’s history.”

It’s a piece of advice that’s unlikely to be heeded by the fair-weather radicals, cock-a-hoop after seeing the statue toppled this week.

Robert Mugabe is an enigma. He’s the last man we should be taking advice from, but we do. Politically, he profits handsomely from the havoc he’s wreaked. And he continues to be adored even by those who’ve been at the wrong end of his policies.

In a meeting with President Jacob Zuma, he is reported to have apologised for the thousands of Zimbabweans who’ve illegally flocked to South Africa, obviously fleeing from the wreckage he has painstakingly created of his country. Some of these migrants regularly go back to vote for him.

The adoration is not confined to Zimbabweans. Mugabe critics are convinced he would have gone long ago had he not been propped up by South African leaders, notably Thabo Mbeki.

The biggest cheer from the crowd at Zuma’s inauguration a few years ago was reserved for Mugabe. And in Soweto this week residents lined the streets to serenade his motorcade.

The state visit was probably an acknowledgement by South Africa that he’s beaten us to the punch. Years of trying to either shepherd him peacefully out of power or ameliorate his delinquency have failed. He’s still standing — and thriving — despite the insults he’s often hurled in our direction.

It seems appropriate to worship at his feet now that he’s chairman of the Southern African Development Community and the African Union.

Mugabe’s most potent weapon has always been his anti-imperialist rhetoric. It’s a stuck record that’s worked like a charm for him. It taps a well of grievance among many Africans. This week, for instance, he was still railing against former British prime minister Tony Blair. The fact that Blair left office almost a decade ago didn’t seem to matter.

It harked back to his speech at the Earth Summit in Johannesburg in 2002. “So Blair, you keep your England and let me keep my Zimbabwe,” Mugabe said, to resounding applause. It’s this sort of bombast that has animated ordinary Africans and has kept their leaders relatively quiet or on his side.

Thirty-five years ago, when Mugabe emerged from the bush to lead his victorious Zanu to power, he seemed like a breath of fresh air, more so because he was an underdog. The South African government and the business community had poured resources into the fortunes of the hapless Bishop Abel Muzorewa.

The ANC was mortified by the defeat of Joshua Nkomo, its longtime ally and the man regarded as the father of the liberation struggle in Zimbabwe.

Asked about the outcome of the elections at the time, president PW Botha ruefully said Zimbabweans had made their own bed. Now, he said, they would have to lie on it. It was sour grapes, of course, but the words have proved prophetic.

Mugabe was suave, articulate and self-assured in his first public comments. He won many hearts and reinvigorated the struggle for liberation in Southern African. The restive white minority were reassured by his formation of a unity government with whites in key cabinet positions.

Apparently a moderating influence on Mugabe was former Mozambican leader Samora Machel, who had harboured Zanu fighters at great cost to his country. He nudged Mugabe to accept the Lancaster House agreement and, it is said, was responsible for the conciliatory tone of Mugabe’s comments.

Often, freedom fighters start off as heroes but end up as villains. Mugabe changed tack once his position became threatened.

His political obituary has been written many times before, and he has confounded his foes each time. But this state visit is his swan song. He’s now 91 and clearly can’t go on forever. His impending exit is already creating some commotion in his party. The jockeying for position has begun. Prominent members, including his longtime deputy, Joice Mujuru, have been expelled from Zanu-PF, some believe, to clear the way for Mugabe’s wife, Grace.

If she gets the top job, she’ll join women who have walked in the footsteps of their husbands, among them Corazon Aquino in the Philippines and Cristina Kirchner of Argentina. Hillary Clinton looks a shoo-in to follow husband Bill to the White House.

But for Zimbabwe, this should be no time for such entitlements. The country needs to find a competent successor to Mugabe.

Zimbabweans, and the region, deserve a respite.