Note to Zuma: Jesus may just be back sooner than you thought

THE ANC must be approaching next year’s local government elections with some trepidation, because apart from the fact that the opposition seems destined to make huge gains, it will also be a pointer to the national poll in four years.

It is hard to see any silver lining for the ruling party. The two biggest metros in the country, Johannesburg and Tshwane, along with Nelson Mandela Bay, are within the opposition’s reach.

Such losses would be a huge psychological blow from which the party may not recover.

Events, circumstances and downright hubris are combining to make it more difficult for the ANC to put a positive spin on things. Issues such as e-tolls and Eskom blackouts are adding to a lengthy list of longstanding problems such as crime, corruption and an economy that continues to misfire.

And of course there’s Jacob Zuma, a millstone around the ANC’s neck. With him at the helm, the party has no prospect of prospering.

His performance in parliament last week will surely go down as one of the most inane and brainless by a sitting president. The country wants a leader, not a village idiot. His laughter echoed in the corridors of parliament like a hangman’s guffaw mocking the condemned. His flunkies sheepishly formed a chorus, giggling with him. Does he not realise that he’s insulting not only our intelligence but our sense of morality as well? A touch of contrition on his part, for once, would be in order.

The less said about the report compiled by Police Minister Nathi Nhleko, the better. One is left almost speechless by the cretinous nature of the exercise. It’s a page out of Animal Farm.

Zuma is a vote-loser for the ANC, especially in Gauteng, where the party is trying to convince the public to buy into its unpopular e-tolls.

Deputy President Cyril Ramaphosa’s attempt to sweeten a bitter pill has simply made motorists even more determined to resist. Denying licence renewals to those who won’t pay is the sort of blackmail that even a dimwit should know won’t pass the constitutional test.

Motorists also feel let down by Gauteng premier David Makhura, who initially opposed the system and appointed a task team to presumably explore different funding options. He’s now done a volte-face, pleading with people to pay. The hero has become a villain — and lived up to people’s view of politicians: spineless dissemblers. A new type of defiance campaign is emerging, and about time, too.

The Gauteng ANC will be sending its activists out during the election campaign to bat for a party programme that the provincial party has declared publicly it doesn’t support. It’s on a losing wicket. The now ubiquitous gantry will be a gargantuan yoke around its neck.

ANC incompetence has infested everything it touches. Eskom, for long an admired parastatal, is now the purveyor of gloom and darkness.

And Eskom is not Nkandla. It’s not about some theoretical or ethical argument. Its actions affect people directly. There’s nothing as dispiriting as coming home to a dark house or being unable to get into your property because the gate won’t open.

That tends to shape people’s outlook on their country. The story of those who think South Africa is going to the dogs begins to resonate and find fertile ground.

And townships such as Soweto that have for years thought electricity was manna from heaven are now none too pleased that they’re being forced to pay for this bounty. The ANC is thus caught between a rock and a hard place, trying to pretend to be standing with the non-payers in order to retain their support.

It’s promising to be a hard-fought campaign. The EFF, which takes no prisoners, is certain to take votes from the ANC’s left flank.

In Mmusi Maimane, the DA has at last found its elusive black leader. That complicates matters for the ANC, especially in black areas. Its charge that the DA is a white party is wearing thin. In any case, why is a party that, for more than a century, has held nonracialism to be an article of faith, playing the race card in 2015?

Parachuting Danny Jordaan into Port Elizabeth is clearly a sign of panic. But, as fate would have it, instead of cleaning up the mess, Jordaan now has to fend off charges of bribery and corruption at Fifa. His sterling performance during the World Cup — initially rightly seen as an asset — could become a liability.

Jordaan’s reputation will suffer along with that of the country. If 1994 was the country’s finest hour, the 2010 Soccer World Cup was the icing on the cake. Five years ago we proved a few things to a sceptical world, and to ourselves. That illustrious moment for the new South Africa has now been tarnished.

But if the Fifa debacle proves anything, it is that even titans, no matter how powerful or invincible, do ultimately get their comeuppance.

It’s a warning Zuma and his cronies should heed. Jesus Christ may just be back sooner than promised. Comment on this: write to tellus@sundaytimes.co.za or SMS us at 33971 www.timeslive.co.za