WHERE’S THE REST OF IT?
Thomas Falkiner goes back to school and begins to wonder if his life behind the wheel has been wasted
Car man Thomas Falkiner switches (nervously) to a motorbike
FOUR wheels are great. But it would be a lie to say that I wasn’t keen on exploring the world on two. In fact ever since I watched Dennis Hopper and Peter Fonda hump on down to the New Orleans Mardi Gras in Easy Rider, I have been harbouring a secret affinity for the motorcycle. On a bike, straddling that gas tank, there’s this notion you’re being brought closer to all those things that make a journey so special. Heat. Cold. Wind. Rain. The perfumes of nature sighing on your skin.
Exposed to the elements, that weekend blast up to the Midlands or down to the Karoo becomes a more visceral experience. One that should, in theory, linger in your memory and insulate you from the trials and stresses of modern life. On the right road, the motorcycle can be the ultimate escape.
Thing is though, how exactly do you make the transition? How does somebody weaned on nothing but a conservative diet of steering wheels and handbrakes become au fait with handlebars and foot pegs? The answer can be found at the swanky new BMW Rider Academy at Zwartkops Raceway just outside Pretoria.
BMW was making motorbikes before it was making cars. Cutting its teeth on the R32 in 1923 (a shaft-driven speedster that would drive today’s generation of café racers wild), it has gone on to produce modern-day legends like the R1150GS that steered actors Ewan McGregor and Charley Boorman from London to New York in their 2004 documentary TV series, Long Way Round. There’s a lot of two-wheeled pedigree in the BMW bloodline. And to help boost sales, it has set up the rider academy.
Geared towards those members of the populace who have zero experience behind handlebars (although knowing how to ride a bicycle is a must), the novice course is pretty much the tonic for people such as myself who have long been wanting to act on their Easy Rider aspirations.
After arriving early in the morning we wannabes were herded into an auditorium where we were given an overview of what makes a motorcycle a motorcycle. The dark art of weight and balance, where the major controls are situated, and, perhaps most importantly, how to remain as visible as possible to other road users. There was also plenty of emphasis on the clutch lever and how it was the most important thing to master in this crucial learner phase. Yep, this was all quite a lot to assimilate.
Fortunately the next part was clearer — and far more entertaining. Now kitted out with helmets, gloves and jackets (isn’t gear the greatest?) our instructors led us down to some basic but fully manual 250cc motorbikes on which we would apparently, by the end of the day, be confident enough to ride around the Zwartkops facility. After learning how to mount and dismount I was taught the basics of clutch control and how, by opening or closing my left hand, I could move confidently down the tarmac without changing gears, albeit at walking pace.
I was also introduced to the brakes: the fronts controlled by the hand lever on the right and the rears by the righthand foot lever. Once we’d all got the hang of this it was time for a quick lunch and, again, more theory.
It’s easy to roll your eyes at theory but when it comes motorbikes I found it best to listen intently as there are so many things that can play against you. Weather. Changes in surface conditions. The more you pay attention to this stuff, including road signs, the more likely you are to stay alive out there.
Luckily the final part of the course, held on a deserted stretch of tarmac, proved pretty much free from risk. We were challenged to brake from a steady 50km/h and come to a dead stop within a designated space between two safety cones. This exercise seems easy on paper but in the real world, your mind still new to the brakes and handling, it’s far trickier. With this in the bag we were told to weave our way through a series of cones to feel how a motorbike responds to direction changes. Fun? You bet. Especially once you grow more confident and twist the throttle a little bit more each time.
It was here that something clicked and I realised that I more or less had the hang of this whole two-wheel thing, and could enjoy that cool, flight-like sense of freedom that it offers. In that moment I learnt that there’s nothing quite like gelling with a motorbike, which is why I’m now fantasising about getting my licence and planning a whole bunch of my own adventures. Early onset mid-life crisis? Perhaps. But you know who to blame. Thanks BMW.
• If you’re keen to break into the motorcycling world then check out the full range of BMW Rider Academy courses at www.bmwmotorrad.co.za/. From the beginner’s course that I took, to the much more advanced off-road and sport riding courses, there’s something to make everybody a safer and more proficient rider.
I learnt that there’s nothing quite like gelling with a motorbike. Early onset mid-life crisis? Perhaps