Busy working mothers put au pairs in the driving seat
SINGLE mother Gail Jacobs is one of a number of middle-class parents who are gratefully grasping the lifeline offered by au pairs.
Jacobs, whose children are nine and 14, turned to psychology student Jade Lewis when juggling the demands of work and parenting became too much for her.
“My little daughter needed more attention and someone who will make sure he does [his homework] correctly. This was too much for me as I also needed to prepare supper and do other mom duties at home,” said Jacobs, from Alberton, south of Johannesburg.
Enter Lewis, who studies at the University of Johannesburg. She fetches the boys from school, takes them to extra-murals and even organises their birthday parties.
The 23-year-old is one of a growing army of au pairs — earning between R3 500 and R19 000 a month — who are “saving the lives” of working mothers.
Charnel Nel, director of AuPair Extraordinaire, said one of her most memorable clients was a doctor. “This mom was contemplating divorcing her husband or quitting her job. She was completely inundated with her work-life responsibilities.
“Her marriage was strained as there would be endless fights about whose turn it is to collect the children, or why dad didn’t help Johnny with his project, and her practice was taking strain.
“We placed her with a permanent au pair about a year ago. Today, her marriage is thriving and she has expanded her practice. . . She personally thanked my company for ‘saving her life’.”
Two years ago, Bryanston, Johannesburg, mother Ntokozo Langa stopped sending her 12year-old son to his R1 600-amonth school aftercare and employed an au pair.
“At the time, I knocked off at 6pm and had to rush during peak traffic hours to his school. The exercise was draining for him and me,” said Langa, who worked in the banking sector. SWINGING: Gail Jacobs keeping her children Navin, left, and Charis entertained
The au pair she hired was a primary school teacher, who helped her son with his homework and took him to extramurals. She paid her R6 000 a month to work for three hours a day. “It might sound too much, but it was a good decision for my family. My boy’s grades improved. He also changed from being grumpy all the time to a happy child,” said Langa.
Jani Romily Schoeman, search manager of Tip-top Au Pairs, which places 40 au pairs a month, said: “Our families prefer someone with the same background as theirs. In most cases the candidate will be someone from the same neighbourhood.”
Nel said they received 100 applications a month, up from the 30 or so of two years ago.
Would-be au pairs need a matric, a driver’s licence and a roadworthy car, and must not have a criminal record.
“A valid ID and contactable childcare references are also crucial for our candidates,” said Schoeman. “We conduct indepth, one-on-one interviews on a candidate’s ability to nurture, their maturity, reliability, competency and responsibility.”
Said Nel: “Au pairs are required to have an authentic passion for children, patience, as well as the ability to show initiative.”
While single mothers with sons often wanted male au pairs, Nel said, most families preferred women.
When Gail Mcleod’s Bryanston marketing company went global, she needed extra hands to assist with her daughter’s school work.
“Having an au pair is more like having an older daughter at your home,” she said. “Her duties are normally guided by my daughter’s school schedule. Apart from the homework, she also keeps a diary of upcoming tests and projects and I often give her money so that the two can do grocery shopping.”
Now Mcleod has more time with her daughter when she gets home. “Sometimes we watch TV or just chat as mother and daughter. We spend a lot more quality time now than before.”
Full-time au pair Leticia Ho You, a former nursery school teacher, charges R100 an hour and makes up to R20 000 a month.
“I love working with infants and enjoy stimulating them. But you are more of a driver for older children,” she said.
“Most of the children consider me as a big sister. I also love watching them grow. The most challenging thing about the job is teaching someone’s child discipline and respect.
“Unfortunately, as au pairs we come across some spoilt brats. It is crucial that you choose a family with the same values and boundaries as yours.”
Having an au pair is more like having an older daughter at your home