Hogarth
The president’s indecision is final
IT’S that time of the year again: when No 1 visits churches and begs congregants to pray for his sins.
But Hogarth thinks that, instead of asking for prayers, Baba kaDuduzane should be dealing with his twofaced statements. LAND HO: President
The other week the Jacob Zuma Nkandla Crooner attacked ANC MPs for opposing a motion raised by Juju’s red-beret brigade for the amendment of the constitution to allow for expropriation without compensation.
This week he changed his tune and told those who cared to listen that ANC MPs were justified in voting against the motion as Juju’s red army wanted to take land by illegal means.
Clearly No 1 did not bother to read the EFF motion, which stated expropriation must be done within the ambit of the law.
Or perhaps he just Mantashed for no reason.
Whited sepulchre ...
ANOTHER political party that needs prayers is the Desperate Alliance.
For years now, Mini-Obama and his troops have attacked the ANC from their blue moral high horse for threatening ANC MPs with dismissal if they dare to support a motion of no confidence in No 1.
Such a pity, then, that the DA’s own constitution states that any DA member who supports a vote of no confidence in another DA member is immediately dismissed.
A classic case of “do as I say, not as I do”.
... calls kettle black
THE same goes for the DA’s new allies, Juju’s red-beret brigade.
Oh yes, the Commander-in-Thief might tell marchers in Pretoria that ANC MPs toeing the party line and voting against their consciences are cowards.
But Hogarth remembers how Juju’s deputy, Floyd Shivambu, insisted on checking each and every vote to confirm whether their councillors voted with the Desperate Alliance after last year’s local government elections.
Talk about an alliance of hypocrites.
With iimbongi like these
HOGARTH almost forgot it was No 1’s birthday on Wednesday until the following note landed on his desk from his cheerleaders, the ANC Women’s League: “The current President of the ANC and the State President of South Africa, passionate about peace in Africa amongst others has worked in Kampala, Uganda, as facilitator of the Burundi peace process, along with Ugandan President Yoweri Museveni. The ANCWL supporters and members countrywide reaffirms their support to the former Robben Island prisoner who served a 10 year prison sentence in the island, who is passionate about the education of an African child and has been in the forefront through his personal foundations funding studies of poor students at various tertiary institutions [sic].”
Hogarth didn’t know that Wikipedia provided a birthday-wish writing service!
Mixed birthday bag
HOGARTH read some heartfelt, glowing birthday wishes on social media paying tribute to South Africa’s favourite citizen, calling him a winner, a true leader and a handsome golden boy. This was confusing at first, but Hogarth soon discovered that the president shares a birthday with Bafana Bafana legend Lucas Radebe and swimming sensation Chad Le Clos.
Memories short as fuses
HOGARTH was wondering how people wearing ANC T-shirts could boo and heckle party veterans such as former finance minister Pravin Gordhan and treasurer-general Zweli Mkhize, until he noticed that one of the hooligans carried a placard that read “Where was Pravin during the struggle?”
This is what happens when a former liberation movement ends up with a youth league led by former bantustan beneficiaries.
The revolving door spins
HOGARTH was surprised to learn Numsa has a new spokeswoman, former eNCA journalist Phakamile Hlubi. Although her posh accent may alienate blue-collar members of the metalworkers’ union, she is a great improvement on the long-suffering Patrick Craven.
Hogarth had been wondering what happened to self-proclaimed Joseph Goebbels and parttime spokesman for Tupac Shakur’s family Castro Ngobese, until a hard-hitting statement attacking journalists, from Gauteng MEC Lebogang Maile’s office, found its way into his inbox. Hogarth is glad to know Ngobese will be a regular feature at the former unionist’s drinking hole in Rosebank.
But did he have to announce his arrival by going after the media?
Sucker for playground gossip
EVERY parent knows that at some stage their child will tell a white lie or two as justification for not doing well in a test or exam. If you happen to be a parent with presidential ambitions, it is absolutely important that you take what your kids, grandchildren, or those of your friends say with a pinch of salt. Nkosazana Dlamini-Zuma has made a mampara of herself by claiming that former whites-only public schools teach anti-ANC propaganda. As for her claims about Wits, maybe her daughter Thuthukile, who studied anthropology at the institution, needs to do some explaining.