Haunted by Women’s Suffering
A Pretoria performance artist known as# Follow The Lady In White was among hundreds of people who marched to the Union Buildings yesterday as part of the #NotInMyName campaign against violence against women and children. Recent murders such as that of Karabo Mokoena have highlighted the issue
EVERY day, Tina Mbili remembers these horrifying words: “Bitch, I will kill you.”
Michael Padayachee, her former lover and the father of her child, hurled them at her in a crowded courtroom in 2015 as he was sentenced to 24 years behind bars for attacking her, assaulting and trying to kidnap their baby daughter, and an unrelated assault on a man in a tavern.
“I live in fear every day,” Mbili said this week. “Michael Padayachee has guaranteed me that he will never be at peace until I am dead. When I hear stories like Karabo’s, anxiety comes back.”
Karabo Mokoena’s burnt body was found in a field in Johannesburg last week. Her boyfriend, who has allegedly confessed to setting her body alight after finding her dead in his flat, has been charged with murder.
Mbili has often changed jobs and her cellphone number since she was attacked in 2012. She also moved house three times. “I cannot be stable. I look over my shoulder all the time,” she said.
In 2012, Padayachee assaulted Mbili and left for her for dead at a park in Phoenix, Durban. Her battered face shocked the nation when it appeared on the front page of sister newspaper The Times.
Mbili had obtained an interim protection order against Padayachee a month before, just after he had tried to kidnap their daughter. He was out on bail at the time, after trying to take the toddler by force and throwing her over a 4m gate.
Over the years, Padayachee has harassed Mbili by phone and via Facebook — even from his cell.
“We have to be paranoid,” said Mbili. “When he comes out, what’s going to happen? The fear doesn’t get any less.”
Mbili does not regret being open about her abusive relationship or getting protection orders, even if she had once labelled them a waste of time.
“It carried weight in the court case. It was my word against his and those documents had details of the many times he dragged me and tried to kill me.
“I urge women in similar situations to seek help.”
Mbili often has headaches because of the injuries Padayachee inflicted on her. She has lost some vision in one eye. But still she counts herself as lucky.
“I look at Karabo and I see me. He left me there knowing I would die. It could have been me. And sadly it will be many more South African women,” she said.