O

NE of the disadvantages of being a pedant is that you are in constant danger of being toppled from the heights of pleasure to the depths of devastation.

Take reading, for example. There you are, immersed in a fine novel, loving the characters, shivering at every plot twist, in awe of the skill with which the words have been woven together, when suddenly the writer uses a word incorrectly.

This is an unspeakably cruel thing to do to a pedantic reader. It’s as though you were chewing on the most delicious caramel toffee and then you get to a layer of decaying rodent matter that coats your tongue with rancid bitterness. The joy evaporates, your teeth clench and even though the rest of the book might be superbly written and error-free (or the rest of the toffee perfectly delicious, once the offending shreds of ground-up rat-bone have been sucked off it) you just can’t recapture that first flush of love.

This happened to me the other day. I won’t tell you what book I was reading because I don’t want to cultivate unfair bias against what was otherwise a nearly faultless novel. However, about three-quarters of the way through the writer used the word “enervated” to describe a character in a state of extreme excitement.

No. People who jump up and down in a state of agitated ecstasy are not enervated. They are energised. To energise is to fill with energy, vitality or enthusiasm. To enervate is to suck all that good stuff right back out again.

When people are enervated, they feel physically and emotionally drained. They do not jog on the spot and punch the air in exhilaration. Mostly they just lie down.

Enervate is not a word one stumbles over every day, but I have noticed that at least half the time I see it, it is used incorrectly. This is not a case of a word being so commonly misused that it has

GEMINI (May 21 – June 20)

Think delicious ideas and magical plans. This is your big moment. A chance to explore the senses and discover what each one has to offer. While you’re waiting for the planets to kick in and mobilise the next cycle, spare a thought for the love life. Find out what’s needed from you to make it work. Somehow you’ve forgotten that you’re the only one who can make yourself happy.

CANCER (June 21 – Jul 22)

Who died and put you in charge of everyone’s happiness? And how willingly did you accept the post? Seriously, if you want to run something, how about a project with a little more chance of success? Stop trying to please everyone and ask yourself what you’re trying to avoid. Martyrdom is just another word for avoidance of your own issues. So be strong. Allow yourself to be happy.

LEO (Jul 23 – Aug 22)

For some reason, loyalty to home, family and country seem immensely important. Don’t question it; even if the idea seems more boring than watching grass grow. Just go with it. Call the relatives, invite the folks over, show you care. This is one time when your energy is enough. No need for elaborately wrapped gifts. They just want you. And, astonishingly, you just want them. become accepted in place of its opposite. Some dictionaries allow for the use of literally in place of figuratively and endemic instead of epidemic, but to use enervated when you mean energised is just plain wrong.

Some might say, so what? If it is obvious what the writer means, why froth at the temples if the wrong word is used? Fair point, but consider the feelings of those who suffer painful allergies to sloppy grammar. Spreading the word about enervate vs energise might make reading a safer occupation for pedants.

VIRGO (Aug 23 – Sep 22)

There’s a saying doing the rounds: “I want it all, and I want it delivered by cute, charming, naked men (or women, obviously).” Nothing new for you. In fact, you’ve probably already got that T-shirt. And you can wear it while you’re working like a dog. The goodies truly are on their way, although possibly by a more circuitous route than you had in mind. Even so, keep checking your mail.

LIBRA (Sep 23 – Oct 22)

Career dramas will likely reach crisis point by Friday, but only if you leave them to sort themselves out. Since you don’t want to do that, grab the reins and redefine your course. If you can maintain the status quo until next month, you should be able to move on, with interesting new options. And love? Why not just go ahead and say “yes”. Accept what you have and watch your life change.

SCORPIO (Oct 23 – Nov 21)

For a change, let your life take you where it will. It’s useful to know that you can’t control everything. Besides, you’ll be pleased with the results. The planets have planned a sparkling social life for you, one in which you almost manage to forget you have an ego, so keen are you to help. Try to avoid being swept away by the moment. No grand declarations you’ll later regret. If possible, stay sane.

There’s an easy way to remember the difference, if we allow alternative spelling to enter the equation. In advertising, the Energizer Bunny is a famous wind-up pink rabbit that marches around beating a drum long after its band mates, who are powered by other types of batteries, have fallen over.

As an aside, the Duracell Bunny began beating its drum in Europe in 1973. The Energizer Bunny was born in the US in 1989. Fur flew. The ensuing fight was temporarily settled in 1992 when the two companies agreed to split custody of the long-eared twins, provided neither crossed the Atlantic, but last year one of the critters got up the other’s burrow again and the warren is still under dispute.

The Energizer Bunny — unstoppable, irrepressible, seizing

SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22 – Dec 21)

A delicious new love energy is gaining momentum. If you’re already involved, you’ll see wonderful changes with just the smallest of efforts. At work, your extraordinary ideas are finally being noticed. Even so, hold back on the overconfidence. Not everyone is as revolutionary as you are. Spare time is for fun and high-energy entertainment. For being a child again.

CAPRICORN (Dec 22 – Jan 19)

This is a fantastic week for you, in which all the energies are hovering on the brink of total transformation. All that’s needed is a decisive wave of your hand. Think now. What kind of month would you like? Make use of the universal magic to make your move. At work, they’re all watching, in tune with your vibes. At home, you only have to say the word. Be generous with your gifts.

AQUARIUS (Jan 20 – Feb 18)

Try calming down for 30 seconds. Astonishing as it seems, your high energy verbosity can be overwhelming. Yes, it’s because you’re interested in a thousand different things. But try to remember that not everyone is on your wavelength, so the odd introductory course might be in order. A slow one. You might even try listening to what they’re telling you. Even you might learn something. the carrot every day — is the one we are interested in. If there were an Enervator Bunny, it would not tap ceaselessly and annoyingly on the drum slung around its neck. It would slide down to the floor in a heap of sad pink bunny fur and refuse to get up again.

That’s why the battery manufacturer is called Energizer and not Enervator. Not all commercial institutions are as wise, however. A quick search turned up three companies whose founders thought Enervator would be the perfect name to create excitement about their products. Guess where I won’t be shopping? LS

E-mail your observations on words and language to degroots@sundaytimes.co.za On Twitter @deGrootS1