Wannabe wasabi for Kenny as bell tolls for SS Mendi

Amid the gloom, a ray of light. Please welcome into the world a new baby, born to proud dad, convicted fraudster and politicalparty hopper Kenny ‘Party Hopper’ Kunene, formerly of the ANC, then the EFF, and now heading his own Patriotic Alliance. The Kunene home in Kutloanong, Free State, hosted friends galore to feast on eight sheep and dozens of chickens. No sushi, sorry!

More good news came with the discovery of the bell of the SS Mendi, the ship that sank off the coast of England in 1917, taking the 646 lives of mostly black South Africans. The bell was left at a pier on the south coast, after a BBC reporter got an anonymous phone call.

In parliament, a bell rang pointlessly as top officials from Home Affairs ignored the call to explain how the Guptas got South African citizenship with such little fuss.

In court, alleged sexual assault victims of former Joburg stockbroker Sydney Frankel cheered when Judge Clare Hartfort ruled the 20-year time limit on reporting sexual abuse is unconstitutional. Perhaps he might want to attend one of US comedian Bill Cosby’s public seminars on sexual assault and the law. Free advice from Mr Huxtable?