HARVEY FALLS OFF HIS CASTING COUCH
Harvey Weinstein had allegedly harassed Hollywood starlets for years before being exposed behind his hotel robe this week
You may ask, what does a man who has everything — power, vast fortune, extreme cultural influence and a way with the Oscars — wear to assert his authority, sartorial and otherwise? An Hermés day suit? No. A Dolce & Gabbana opera cape and top hat? Not on your life. A bespoke number from Saville Row? Get outta here. He wears a terry cloth robe.
He was probably taking style tips from that other robe-wearing Lothario, super pimpin’ Hugh Hefner. His robe was silk. But who are we to judge Harvey Weinstein’s fabrication choices? Nobody, that’s who.
You know you have arrived when you can simply dispense with day wear, night wear, any wear at all. You know you are a prince among men when you can tootle about your meetings in your birthday suit and comfortable absorbent towelling.
POWER UNDRESSING
Why bother with pants, or underpants for that matter? You are the King of Hollywood. Your royal tackle should hang loose. A gentle breeze from your penthouse suite caressing your crown jewels. I mean obviously you want the nubile lass entrapped in your lair to be caressing or rather “massaging” said jewels. But that is the next step. The first step is to cow said aspirant, nay, even successful, young ingénue with your insouciant attire, or lack thereof. It goes really well with your attitude.
Donna Karan was slightly confused last week. She leapt to Harvey’s defence and put the blame on the young actresses. They should just cover up more because, you know, they were asking for it. Do you think DK is not so NY anymore? The only person who had anything to cover up in these sordid scenarios was the chump in the terry cloth robe. But hey! Blame the fully dressed women, why don’t you? They just never realised they were going to have to do some serious turn-down service.
There was a time when a Hollywood producer was a dapper fellow, fully stitched up from top to toe. Now when you say he was putting on the Ritz, you mean he was donning that terry cloth robe that was hanging in the cupboard of his Ritz presidential suite. Why not go the whole hog and wear the little terry cloth slippers as well? Super macho look that. Sadly, we have no information from the terry cloth robe front on this last matter.
IF THE ROBE FITS ...
Don’t even think that you can do this sort of sexy magic with any old terry cloth robe, like the one growing mould in your bathroom. Oh no my friend, the provenance of the robe is everything! The Peninsula Beverly Hills’ robe is a prized item of clothing. The cut is superior. Harvey knows his robes; he wore that one often. To get more comfortable with Ashley Judd, for example. The gowns at the Savoy in London can’t be beaten on quality — Romola Garai has the inside scoop there. The Hotél Cap-Eden-Roc at Cannes. Harvey can tell you a thing or two about them gowns. And the gowns at the Stein Eriksen Lodge. Fabulous.
I am hoping that Harvey is not taking his sexaddiction therapy in a five-star spa venue in Switzerland. Imagine his feelings of loss and betrayal every time he sees his outfit of choice on some other poor slob weeping into his ginseng tea in a terry cloth robe around the pool area.
But there is an upside if all else fails and Hollywood never clutches Harvey back into the warm glow of its glamorous bosom — the man still has options. He can make a comeback as quality control for terry cloth robes in five-star establishments all over the world.