‘I am in love with kettle bells, they get rid of anger’

Any second thoughts about 2017?

My only regret was that I didn’t do enough stand-up this year.

I’m less fulfilled without my comedy. It has manifested physically.

I need that outlet.

What did you enjoy about 2017?

I really enjoyed WTF Tumi, I was worried about being up first thing in the morning, and then the late-night show. But when it was all I was doing, it was my happy place. It was just a ball. South Africa gets to see celebs come into my lounge, have a dop with me and literally talk smack. It warms my heart.

What about 2018?

A lot of things have run away with me. There was a time that it was OK to do that. I had my finger in so many pots. It is now a time to reassess where my passions lie. My modus operandi was to try anything once. Now I need to sit back and ask: “What I can let go of? It’s conscious.”

You want to enjoy life, man, you want to feel good.

I’m not afraid. Even with ’Tumigate’, I stepped on stage once and I did it because I was scared. [Being] afraid of seeing a reaction that you’ve never experienced, you’ll never get on that bike again.

Have you had more hate or love this year?

I am still afraid to go to Pretoria, but I’ve mostly been getting love. What I get online is something else. There’s this guy: “I wish you [could] get a job.” Someone bought you data and you thought of me?

And the haters who came back?

They will be grateful to know I have blacklisted them as a brand and won’t associate with them. I have notes of who you are and who came back asking to be forgiven. It’s me throwing my tantrum and everyone else can do what they like, they had their chance. You and I cannot be associated. You didn’t give me a chance to wait and see where I stood. Get the full context. You were pandering to something. All those things tell me that you and I can’t be associated. Let me not say “bullying”, but there was me, Tumi, the single person and brand. Your brand is way bigger than I am. Do you really not feel that little bit uneven playing field? Let me say, it was bullying.

How do you keep fit?

I had to choose between gym and sleep. Sleep won. Now I am in love with kettle bells, they get rid of anger.

I can sign off every piece of weight I’ve put on. This is from a party, this is from comfort-eating that month.

How did you get through the dark days?

We are a strong, prayerful family.

Also, I’m not afraid of therapy. If ever I feel overwhelmed, my therapist has two practices and she will accommodate me. When I have a challenge I develop a scotoma, a blind spot. Then you need a rear view. Someone to push your face in the right direction.

Who irritated you?

There was this level of people who looked at me like the kid who must sit down. Listen, I’ve been working. I carried three children and carried a marriage. I will have my say. Can we respect my intelligence as a black woman?

What comforts you|?

I fry up some onion, add some tomato and my sardines. I make pap, put mayonnaise in that.

And on a down day, my vice is dried fruit — with sugar on it. And so mommy can sleep, a young G&T.

What is your home life like?

The tree is up at home. My kids make me feel so good. It is important to not lose your inner child when you are with your kids.

The trampoline time is life-giving.

Apart from that, they are with their grandparents every weekend, sometimes with our lovely nanny. We have social engagements, we are a couple on weekends. Our eighth anniversary was like being on honeymoon. Marriage is hard enough.

The entertainment industry adds more hard. Add some more hard, with my personality.

What’s up for the holiday?

I am switching off my phone, spending time in my renovated house. My self-care is jumping on the trampoline. We will go to the Golden Gate Highlands National Park so the kids can run away from technology for a while, because they replace me with tech sometimes. It will be a restful holiday for me.

I’ve been offered work. It is incredible, the offers just don’t stop and for a lot of artists this is the busiest time of the year. But I made a vow to my husband and especially myself. I am on holiday until late January when we settle in at school.

I am very kind to myself in December and January. Then everybody gets the best of me from March to April.

Moving on?

The world is moving into that thing, where Afrikaners realise where the word came from, “Africa”. There will be a DNA test where Steve Hofmeyr will realise he is actually coloured.

For the new year, people must let go of 2017 and its rubbish. That is all.