HOGARTH
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McBuffalo marks his territory
McBuffalo embarked on his first trip out of the country as our No 1 on Friday, making a stop in Angola before travelling to Namibia and Botswana.
The reasons for the travels are vague. But Hogarth suspects McBuffalo is doing self-introductions to uBaba kaDuduzane’s “friends” just to show the former No 1 that a president can actually introduce himself to others, and needs no baby-sitter.
Witty welcome for Nene
NSOHANow that uBaba kaDuduzane is no longer calling the shots, Nhlanhla Nene has returned to the job of managing the national purse.
You will recall that uBaba kaD famously said he had removed Nene from the finance ministry so he could take up a position at the Brics bank.
Well, that turned out to be nothing but a fat lie of Nkandla proportions as Nene sat on his Kranskop farm, waiting for a phone call that never came.
The People’s Bae jogged the people’s memory with this welcome of the not-so-new finance minister: “Honourable Speaker, we want to welcome back Mr Nhlanhla Nene from the Brics bank, where he was nominated by Mr Zuma. Welcome back, chief.”
Even the Nkandla Crooner himself must have giggled.
McBuffalo on minister’s tail
ene’s deputy, Mondli Gungubele, must have forgotten he was attending probably the biggest moment of his political career at the swearing-in ceremony at Tuynhuys.
When Deputy Chief Justice Raymond Zondo called out his name from the list of new deputy ministers, Gungubele seemed unprepared. He struggled with his untucked-in shirt as he walked up to take his oath of office.
Even McBuffalo could not help but tease his new deputy finance minister as he walked past him. “Yes, yes, fasten your belt, young man,” said the Buffalo Soldier in Zulu.
Blade will have to change lanes
ay a prayer for Blade Nzimande. After years of campaigning for the removal of e-tolls from Gauteng freeways in his part-time job as the boss of the SACP, McBuffalo this week appointed Blade minister of transport — which makes him the new chief defender of e-tolls.
Forswear the flashy, Pinkie
ur politicians are known for their love of flashy cars, especially when they are not personally footing the bill. Luxury German sedans are often one of the top items on their shopping list as soon as they get appointed as ministers or deputy ministers.
One can only hope new Deputy Communications Minister Pinkie Kekana will resist such temptation and keep her ride as simple as she currently does. Hogarth’s agents saw her being dropped off at the swearing-in ceremony in a battered Mercedes-Benz from the early ’90s.
Mineworkers gang up on Tony
ogarth didn’t know whether to laugh or cry when a note from the National Union of Mineworkers’ Highveld region landed on his desk this week. The union was responding to Hogarth’s favourite pensioner, Tony Yengeni. Grandpa Tony’s fault was to point out that an NUM leader was mumbling on TV. This irked the mineworkers, who threw all kinds of insults at Tony, labelling him “childish” in an equally childish and badly written statement. These insults made old Hogarth chuckle:
Tony Yengeni is politically uncircumcised;
Tony Yengeni is an imbecile;
Tony Yengeni is a mumblist himself; and
Tony lives a life of being bribed.
Gupta minions paid in pizza
ll Gupta-owned companies are in trouble these days, including the one they “sold” to Not-Jimmy Manyi. Reports revealed this week that unpaid ANN7 employees were treated to a special lunch by their boss when their debit orders bounced. All they wanted was their salaries, but Not-Jimmy said: “Let them eat pizza.”