HOGARTH
IWRITE TO HOGARTH@SUNDAYTIMES.CO.ZA
Writing’s on the wall
One of Hogarth’s colleagues visited the Kingdom after hearing rumours that the Nkandla Crooner’s supporters there had not woken up from the Nasrec “nightmare”. All was confirmed when he entered the ANC provincial headquarters. At reception, visitors are greeted by a huge Sihle Zikalala portrait. Next to that is a picture of a smiling Nkandla Crooner. The colleague almost broke his neck looking for McBuffalo’s picture on the well-decorated walls. Case closed!
Determined costs order
t has always been a mystery as to why the Pipe-Smoking President agreed to settle the Nkandla Crooner’s legal fees. This week it emerged that uBaba kaDuduzane unleashed his lawyer Michael Hulley in 2008 to threaten to take Mbeki to the cleaners should he not agree to foot the bill. The Pipe-Smoking One had argued through his lawyer that public funds had to be utilised in a “cost-effective and accountable manner”. But the Nkandla Crooner, who was ANC president at the time, demanded the keys to the vault. The signs were there from the beginning.
Nice try, Sister
HSTTogarth was amused to hear Cosatu boss “Sister” S’dumo Dlamini telling a crowd on Workers’ Day that the federation would welcome metalworkers union Numsa back with open arms. This from a man who led the lynch mob against the largest affiliate some three years ago. Could it be that the Sister and his remaining comrades are feeling the financial pinch of that misguided move? It’s too late to nurse Cosatu back into health.
Supranatural powers
upra, Lion of the North (West), also known as Black Jesus, seems to be losing his divine powers. His former allies, including the ungrateful Oros, have all deserted him. The ANC and just about everyone else in the province want to see the back of him.
Hogarth sees no way out of this for Supra — his political career is about to suffer the fate that befell Shamba the Lion. But Jesus did rise from the grave, didn’t he?
Allowances made
his week it was the turn of members of the National Assembly to pay tribute to fallen heroes Dr Zola Skweyiya and mother of the nation Winnie MadikizelaMandela.
When DA backbencher Stevens Mokgalapa rose to speak, he butchered his own party’s name:
“Thank you, honourable speaker, on behalf of the Democratic Allowance, allow me to . . .”
ANC MPs met this with shouts of “allowance, allowance”.
“All right, all right, let’s start,” responded a visibly embarrassed Mokgalapa as he rubbed his nose.
With MPs like this one, the Desperate Allowance needs no enemies.
Full Marx for extrapolation
he Freedom Front Plus issued a statement yesterday boasting that a recent survey, conducted by Ipsos, showed that most South Africans reject socialism.
“All in all, 59% of South Africans agree that socialism is a ‘system of political oppression, mass surveillance and state terror’ in comparison to the worldwide average of 48%,” reads the statement.
What they omitted from the statement is that in a country of 56 million people, Ipsos spoke to only 500.
The editor finally has a word
Our own rain king, Pastor Mboro, organised a group of school pupils to march to the former Gupta-owned Afro Worldview TV channel to demand that his show be reinstated. The memorandum was received by the new owner of the station, Not-Jimmy Manyi, who told reporters that Mboro’s show was cancelled because it did not meet his company’s “editorial policy”. Well done, Jimmy. Who knew such a policy existed in your neck of the woods!