HOGARTH
Moderation in all things
Rivonia triallist Andrew Mlangeni celebrated his 93rd birthday in fine style this week, with President McBuffalo among those at his party to pay tribute to the struggle veteran. Tata Mlangeni’s thank-you speech was a little unusual. Sharing his secret to long life and good health, Mlangeni confided that before getting married, he and his wife decided to have sex three times a week, not every night. “We strictly kept to that practice. Only occasionally would we go beyond three,” he said. Hogarth hopes the president was taking notes. The New Dawn could do with a bit of a “pick-me-up”.
Days are dark and friends are few
Among the guests at Tata Mlangeni’s party was ANC Youth League veteran Collen Maine, who in the glare of the New Dawn has become quite scarce — even media shy — since his Saxonwold benefactors went on the run. When a TV reporter asked Maine for his views about his former ally Supra Mahumapelo stepping down as North West premier, Maine sheepishly said he didn’t want to talk about it and was there only for the party. It’s sad when the music stops and you have no more friends and have to do menial things like pay your own bond.
You cut me, Minora, you cut me deep
Ubaba kaDuduzane refuses to retire to his statesponsored resort in Nkandla. Instead the Nkandla Crooner is attending ANC national executive committee meetings, ANC workshops, branch meetings, church services and stokvel meetings. On Wednesday he was spotted at the Durban City Hall addressing pupils who are members of the ANC-aligned South African Students Congress.
He was in a fighting mood — warning his opponents to stop talking about him. The attack seems to have been directed at Blade “Comrade Minora” Nzimande, who recently accused the Nkandla Crooner of being behind the political stokvel that is being formed by some of his supporters in the Kingdom.
“Instead of discussing their own programmes, their own policies, they sit in their leadership to discuss me. I am warning them: don’t continue doing it.” Decoded: “I know what you did last summer, Comrade Minora.”
Still playing Monopoly
It would not be a Zuma speech without a jibe at “white monopoly capital”. He told the students about his dislike of our financial laws, which make it illegal for any citizen to keep huge amounts of cash in their possession. Banking the money, he claimed, was taking it back to WMC-owned commercial banks. “You are not even allowed to keep money at your home, it all goes back to them. It only comes home to greet the ancestors and goes back to them. There is no bank owned by the black person, so they control us fully.” If there was ever any doubt that this man has no respect for the rule of law, this kills it.
Fire pool to car pool
Do you remember the Nkandla movie? Yes, the blockbuster that was screened in May 2015 to justify why uBaba kaDuduzane was not liable for the R246-million spent on his home. The director and creator, who invented the term “fire pool”, has fallen from grace. Hogarth’s colleagues in parliament snapped a pic of Nathi Nhleko, left, as he cut a lonely figure on the stairs of one of the buildings on Plein Street. With all those SUVs and luxury sedans now gone, Mr Video is now a regular Uber customer. He looked around to check if anyone was watching before jumping in the back of a tiny Nissan Juke.
Check your inbox, then your privilege
MPs lashed out at SABC board members in parliament this week, accusing them of undermining the communications committee by presenting a scant report lacking detail. MPs took turns accusing the SABC board of insulting the committee. It turned out that the SABC had forwarded the documents weeks ahead of the meeting. ANC MP Lerumo Kalako had an excuse: “I think they were sent to members electronically, I think that’s where the problem might have happened.”