How to survive a lock

Navigating yourself down a French waterway is one of the nicest ways to encounter la France profonde — that deep sense of the real, rural France. There is just one catch for the unwary boater: handling the locks — surely the best “relationship accelerator” you could wish for. Most hire boats seemed to be crewed by too many “Instant Captains” and not enough sailors. When afloat, you may hear plenty of loud — and unhelpful — “mansplaining”.

Here’s a simple tip: be nice to the lock keepers who, even though it is not their job to help you moor your boat when you enter a lock, will often do so. Then help them open and close the lock gates and you will be rewarded with a smile — and a useful confidence boost.

And choose one person to be captain. Just one.