HOGARTH
Court jester in Zulu palace
The Zulu king summoned his subjects on Wednesday to inform them that the former monk of Mahlamba Ndlopfu, Kgalema Motlanthe, is bent on taking land “owned” by them. The king was so incensed that he threatened to declare the kingdom an independent republic should Luthuli House take Motlanthe’s advice.
One of the king’s most concerned subjects was wellknown fraudster Carl Niehaus. As usual, Niehaus got carried away and offered an apology to the king on behalf of Luthuli House. So it turns out Niehaus had no permission from Luthuli House to apologise to his majesty. Hogarth apologises to the king for the fake apology.
Not too old to be ANC young
Hogarth is seriously worried about the ANC Youth League, if it still exists. Youth Month went by without a sign of life from the “young” veterans. Hogarth is not sure if their vow of silence is due to Bell Pottinger going out of business and no longer able to give them a script, or whether they are still moping that their preferred candidate lost at Nasrec. Perhaps the former ANCYL leader and cabinet minister who styles himself “Mr Fearfokkol”, and who was a stand-in for the youth at Winnie Madikizela-Mandela’s funeral, can be called off the bench. It’s not like the ANC crèche has an age restriction.
Biker buddies of the Bay
There’s no love lost between the mayor of Nelson Mandela Bay, Athol Trollip, and his former deputy, Mongameli Bobani. On Thursday night Bobani took to Twitter to ask his former boss about failing to get a motorbike licence last month.
“Mr Trollip @AtholT is it true that last month you fail to pass your motor bike license twice, first one your bike fail roadworthy test, second time it rolled on the incline, yet as Mayor of Nmbm, you drive around with unlicensed motor bike.”
Trollip hit back: “You never get your facts 100%, yet present your case as fact. My motorcycle is roadworthy & I have a learners license to drive it. I did fail the drivers test for rolling back. This is a great endorsement for our licensing Dept. No favors for anyone and no ‘R30 000.00’ bribes.” These two need to get a room.
Jessie goes back on her words
Jessie Duarte, the font of eternal wisdom in the ANC, stirred the pot when she said Grandpa Tony had done “nothing wrong” by asking for a discount on his 4X4. She also said Hogarth’s favourite pensioner made a mistake and “cannot be condemned to a life sentence of hatred by people who spend their lives hating other people”.
In other words, all water under the bridge and Grandpa Tony should be allowed to devise the ANC’s election strategy on crime and corruption.
But what did Auntie Jessie mean when she said this in 2013? “Once you have a criminal record of any kind, you can’t be appointed in the African National Congress, it’s not possible. You can’t get into the governing structures of the ANC.”
It’s tough when your own words come back to bite you.
Pule pleads in public
Talking about the mess at Luthuli House, a strange note landed on Hogarth’s desk on Wednesday night. It was a statement from ANC spokesman Pule Mabe calling on the government to protect the consumer from the rising cost of living. “We call on our government to increase our petrol reserves, seriously consider freezing or decreasing the fuel levy and further stabilise governance and finances at the Road Accident Fund, PetroSA and Central Energy Fund,” wrote Mabe. Couldn’t Mabe send McBuffalo a WhatsApp message, or has he been blocked?
Malema’s taxing bit of gossip
The EFF’s gossiper-in-chief called a briefing to dish out more gossip this week. The rumourmonger told journalists that Uncle Pravin was behind his tax problems and that McBuffalo was merely a ceremonial president because our real No 1 was the Durban pharmacist. “He [Pravin] does as he wishes, we cannot allow that.” Was it Pravin who told you not to pay your taxes, Juju?