Tsamaya This week’s soccer buzz

● That the Kaizer Chiefs defence is more porous than a sieve didn’t escape the eye of Tsamaya's visiting friends. Against Bloemfontein Celtic, a visitor from Swaziland chirped: “The Chiefs defence is like those doors at the mall that go wide open as soon as a person gets close."

Against SuperSport United, a cheese aficionado from Switzerland remarked that “the rearguard of the team in black and gold has more holes than the Swiss cheese". ● Breaking news: The Amakhosi HQ will undergo a name change from Naturena Village to Naturena Art Gallery. The team is drawing a lot these days.

● Owngoalando Pirates are not only specialists in getting the ball in their own net, they’ve transferred the disease to their opponents. After his cross was turned in by Black Leopards’ Thivhavhudzi Ndou, Thamsanqa Gabuza celebrated like a bovine suffering from mad cow disease. Miffed by the boo-boys who had been calling for him to be substituted after he missed a couple of sitters, Gandaganda hurled his jersey at the fans and headed for the tunnel. Tsamaya strongly suspects that had he scored the goal himself, Gabuza would have broken the bones of every Ghost in sight.