Old age burns and raves at close of day

Should auld acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind? Not according to former president Jacob Zuma, for whom the years bring neither comfort nor repose after a job now done, albeit not that well, according to his critics. Instead, the perennial demons persist (Out, damned white monopoly capital, out!) and the grudges, far from receding into late-age amnesia, only intensify.

Recently, Zuma bemoaned the state of the ANC under the man who once served as his loyal deputy, Cyril Ramaphosa. So bad has it become under Ramaphosa, that Zuma has brought his “conscience” out of retirement and it’s told him to vote for the Umkhonto we Sizwe (MK) Party instead of the ANC.

It’s the new political thing, modelled on the idea of the old MK, once the world’s least-effective guerrilla army. In a world dominated by brands and myths, MK will be a best-seller, especially among ignorant youth whose only struggle is finding their cars in the mall parking lot.

The new ANC, Zuma said at a “surprise’’ appearance at a gathering of a group of MKs in Verulam, is not the same as the ANC of Oliver Tambo or Nelson Mandela. If judging is his game, he might have mentioned “Zuma’s ANC” and the gang of miscreants and yes-men and -women who time-served in his cabinet at his pleasure, and compared them with the standout characters of “Mandela’s ANC”.

People such as Thabo Mbeki, Zola Skweyiya, Trevor Manuel, Kader Asmal, Pallo Jordan. How at home would they have felt in “Zuma’s ANC”? Or for that matter, how comfortable would they be in “Ramaphosa’s ANC”, which, of all of them, is the one least defined by its leader? Not very, one imagines.

Once again, for sheer guile and duplicity, Zuma has proved himself in another class alongside his ANC peers. He has allied himself with a party that must have been months in the making. Does the ANC discipline him (which seems unavoidable if it follows its own rules), or does it ignore him? One report that claimed to be in the know said the ANC in

KwaZulu-Natal would use a strategy of “insulting” Zuma.

It’s almost comical. Apparently, the idea is to wheel out Nkosazana Dlamini-Zuma and Zweli Mkhize (both of whom wanted Ramaphosa impeached, don’t forget) to roll back the expected tsunami of support for the Giggling One. Are they the insult? Make the circle bigger, NDZ!

We don’t yet know who the leaders of the new MK will be, but it’s terribly sad to reflect that Cpl Carl Niehaus (ret’d) will not be among them, having committed that unpardonable offence in guerrilla warfare of jumping the gun. Undecided as to whether to commit to a new wardrobe of camo gear for 2024 and max out his credit in January, Niehaus went instead for a total fashion shake-out in favour of the EFF’s red overalls. Much cheaper and especially tailored for those who have never actually worked a day in their lives.

It just so happens that Niehaus’s new order of march on fashion (and politics) went out on December 14, a full 48 hours before Zuma let rip with his big cannon on December 16. Niehaus is furious that ignorants are laughing at him for having been left out by the man he until recently insisted on describing as “President Zuma”. True loyalty seeks no reward. And often gets none.

It’s difficult not to discern a hint of self-preservation and self-promotion in the political musical chairs of late. And much of it based on the misleading rhumba rhythm that the “ANC has changed”.

Zuma protests too much, I think. In fact, the “old ANC”, that “broad church’’ in which the singing was loud enough to stifle the conspiratorial whispers, is alive and thieving (sorry, thriving). Fear not. If anything it’s going from strength to strength.

Ramaphosa referred once to “nine wasted years”, as well he should have, except now we’re at 15 and counting.

The Ramaphosa era was meant to herald a revival in our fortunes, and we unthinkingly accepted the diagnosis that “state capture” (and Zuma) was the reason for the further collapse of our public utilities. But the list of victims of ANC ineptitude and neglect grows: Eskom, SAA, Transnet, the National Student Financial Aid Scheme, Unisa, South African Tourism and, just recently, Johannesburg’s Rea Vaya.

We’re like the alcoholic who blames the water in his whisky for his ruin.

So, Zuma is wrong to mourn the passing of the old ANC. Some of the characters may have changed (too few, actually) but the song remains the same.

MK will be a bestseller, especially among ignorant youth whose only struggle is finding their cars in the mall parking lot