Play open cards with partner
Being frank about money from the start can avert nasty shocks
WHILE it may seem romantic to pretend that money doesn’t matter in relationships, the reality is that you and your partner must discuss your finances openly and honestly before you take the plunge, be it getting married or moving in together.
South Africa’s multicultural society means that when it comes to money and relationships, you cannot discount the importance of cultural understanding and navigating that space too. It’s important to talk about your attitudes and value systems around money. For instance, does appearing to have a lot (and sacrificing financial stability) mean more to your partner than building a solid financial foundation?
Your attitude to how money is handled must be discussed early in a relationship so that it’s not an unpleasant surprise later.
If you or your partner have family members that you take care of — paying school fees, supporting parents or covering someone’s medical bills — it’s important to agree on how you handle that once you live together. Be honest about the extent of your responsibilities.
Another factor that may influence how you handle finances is whether to go with a joint bank account or not. What are the pros and cons? Perhaps separate bank accounts and transferring money every month into a joint account for household expenses might be more efficient. You’ll also need to discuss what portion of your income goes towards household expenses if you are both earning a salary.
Such questions are important, especially if one person earns a significantly higher salary than the other, or if one of you stays at home. You want to be fair about the roles you play when it comes to handling household expenses.
This is one part of marriage that you can’t overlook, thinking it’ll sort itself out.
For those planning for marriage, you may feel that bringing up the subject of an antenuptial (or prenuptial) contract is a sign that you and your partner do not trust each other. However, protecting yourself and your assets is important. It has nothing to do with love and everything to do with being practical.
As a couple, discussions on big-ticket purchases together, such as a house, require that you speak to a financial planner.
A lot of people believe in common-law marriages — when people live together as life partners but aren’t legally married — but it doesn’t override the law. It’s best to know what happens if your partner dies. This is important if you’ve got joint assets or children. Legislation on intestate succession doesn’t recognise common-law marriage. This could cause a lot of friction later, so find out how to structure your will so that your partner is catered for.
As a couple, both of you still have your individual dreams and goals. Those won’t cease to exist simply because you’re living together or getting married. You need to discuss your separate and joint financial goals.
Communicating consistently about your financial habits is important. Being financially independent is advisable, but you still need to be considerate in sharing responsibilities.
Set a time each week or month to review your budget, and to update each other on shared financial goals and any new plans you may want to work towards.