Pushy parents ‘a danger’ to the kids

WHEN, as a 13-year-old, Kagiso Rabada failed to make the Gauteng cricket team, his parents took him to dinner to celebrate his making the trials.

This attitude, his father, Dr Mpho Rabada, believes, is crucial if parents are to raise well-balanced children and overcome the threat of pressure-driven depression.

Rabada’s comments on his son — now 21 and South Africa’s highest-ranked test bowler — were made, coincidentally, during Teen Suicide Prevention Week.

According to research, one in five teens contemplates selfharm. Much of this stems from pressure to achieve in the classroom and on the sports field and is often exacerbated by parents’ excessive expectations.

The South African Depression and Anxiety Group said suicide accounted for 9.5% of all unnatural teen deaths. Spotting behavioural changes could make a difference between life and death.

Rabada told the Sunday Times that depression in children was something “all parents have to guard against”.

With his son, the risk was diminished by his parents’ attitude.

“Depression was not on our radar for a couple of reasons. We enjoyed the game, we supported him with our presence.

“He was playing, not fulfilling what we could not achieve in our youth. We went to sports as a support structure to enable our child to be more rounded.”

Sports Science Institute sports psychologist Clinton Gahwiler said a key aspect was “identity foreclosure”, when performance became everything. He said it had become a pitfall for young athletes.

“[This happens] when a person settles on an identity somewhat prematurely, without exposing themselves to other avenues which might also have shaped their personality, values and outlook.

“This is the danger when children are pushed too early to specialise in one particular sport, or when parents, coaches or schools overemphasise the meaning of certain sporting ANTIDEPRESSANT: The attitude of international cricketer Kagiso Rabada’s parents kept him upbeat

There is so much emphasis on rugby and pressure on kids to make it

achievements like being selected for the first team,” said Gahwiler.

When this self-worth was threatened by injury or failure, the child could fall victim to depression, he said.

Counselling psychologist Dr Ingrid Artus said many teenagers were taught to believe their value and worth were based on how well they performed on the sports field or in the classroom.

“This is a critical age of identity development, and during this period teenagers are very concerned with other people’s perceptions about them,” she said.

Rugby player Jacques Burger, who led Namibia at the last two World Cups, said depression had plagued him.

He suffered anxiety attacks after starting high school. “In South Africa there is so much emphasis on rugby and so much pressure on kids to try to make it.

“There are hundreds of kids who go through depression, especially rugby players, because you’re supposed to be tough and just deal with it.”