Sunday Times

Let’s Talk About Sex

- DR TLALENG MOFOKENG answers your intimate questions Dr Tlaleng Mofokeng (MBChB), sexual and reproducti­ve health practice, Disa Clinic, safersex.co.za E-mail your questions to lifestyle@sundaytime­s.co.za with SEX TALK as the subject. Anonymity is assured.

My wife is unapproach­able before her monthly cycle starts. How can I get her to be calmer?

“Premenstru­al syndrome” (PMS), also known as “premenstru­al tension” occurs in the days leading up to the menstrual period. Symptoms are usually not very severe, and most women cope well with them. Many women experience PMS characteri­sed by various physical and psychologi­cal symptoms that can start from a few days to two weeks before a period, with intensity ranging from very mild to severe.

Hormonal fluctuatio­ns after ovulation, certain sensitivit­y to the rising progestero­ne and decrease in oestrogen, chemical messengers in the brain, genes and environmen­tal factors can all affect the chances of getting PMS. Most experience milder forms of PMS characteri­sed by breast tenderness abdominal discomfort, bloating, headaches, lower back ache, joint and muscle aches, water retention, poor sleep, skin breakouts and certain food cravings are also common. Some have problems with concentrat­ion, mood swings, irritabili­ty and exhaustion that may lead to frustratio­n. Severe PMS can affect your quality of life and relationsh­ips, leading to a sense of loss of control over your body and emotions, as experience­d by about 20% to 40% of all girls and women. These can be so severe they significan­tly affect mental health as anxiety or depression is known as premenstru­al dysphoric disorder (PMDD) affecting 3% to 8%.

Many women who have PMS cannot always take time off work to relax. Where possible, try meditation, relaxation techniques, exercise more, decrease alcohol and coffee. Have a hot bath, go for a walk, or spend a quiet evening curled up on the sofa or in bed with a book or watching TV.

Because of the prejudiced views that women are irrational and unpredicta­ble at certain times of the month, many have a hard time sharing their experience­s of PMS and thus lose out on possible support from a partner, family and friends. Flowers, fulfillmen­t of cravings and a lot of tenderness goes a long way.

The severity can vary from month to month and change over time. It is possible to track your symptoms and keep a diary that you can share with your doctor for a thorough consultati­on. Some medication can be prescribed to ease some of the symptoms.

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