Sting operators catch crafty cooks
DAVID BASCKIN
out the entire restaurant with hidden cameras, provide secret staff members to assist in the surveillance and boy oh boy, have we got a show.
Or have we? God alone knows that reality television is mostly as real as a R13 note. But then what the hell, who’s looking for truth? This is entertainment and Mystery Diners is very entertaining indeed.
Meanwhile, back in the restaurant our chef Joe is most definitely not in on the secret.
He gets a brand new junior prep cook to assist him and immediately he sends her off to the local supermarket for fresh produce.
“But this is not organic,” trills the brand new junior prep cook who’s really an undercover food detective. Joe rolls his eyes.
The supermarket produce arrives, the prep cook repeats her critique and Joe gets sarcastic. “Organic means no pesticides,” he grunts. “So wash everything very well.” The prep cook knows this is not only wrong but evil.
She tells him. “That’s how we do organic here,” says Joe.
Meanwhile the owner is in the camera control room watching all this in horror and carefully modulated rage almost totally devoid of strong language. But worse is to come.
The fish purveyor arrives and unknown to Joe the bent chef, is yet another part of the sting. Yes, he has Chilean Sea Bass at $28 a pound (R371 for 450g).
But he also has fresh water carp at half the price. Joe pays a bribe, gets a blank invoice and charges his boss Chilean Sea Bass prices for inferior fish.
The owner, in the control booth you may remember, goes politely and unoperatically ballistic.
He fires the chef, congratulates his sting operators and goes back to a happy life filled with organic vegetables and 100% pure Chilean Sea Bass.
As the end titles roll, we read this little disclaimer: “The people and events depicted in this programme are real. Certain events may have been edited for dramatic purposes.” You can bet on that.
For further insight into the restaurant trade, read Kitchen Confidential by Anthony Bourdain. Phew! Anyone for salmonella?