Reflecting on the women in our lives

IT’S officially Women’s Month in South Africa this August. Endeared to us as mothers, grandmothers, daughters, aunts and friends, women take on the task of playing so many roles on a daily basis.

And like every year, when the month is finally upon us, it flags the start of a media frenzy across the nation to reflect on the women of the past and appreciate the women of the present that stand before us today.

The influence and contributions of some of the extraordinary women in our country are woven into the very fabric of South Africa. So, this month, as we celebrate the incredible women in our lives, I’d like to reflect on a few of mine.

I grew up lucky to have more than one female role model in my life who possessed a superhuman blend of wisdom and strength. Perhaps it was their unrelenting belief that I could accomplish anything that charted the course I’m on today.

I have never felt that being a woman would stop me from getting to where I wanted to be and it’s really reflected how I was raised. They represent not only what it means to be Lebanese but what it means to be a woman.

The traditions and values instilled in you at a young age are the things that you will carry with you throughout your life and probably pass on for generations to come. So, to my Situ, my mother, my aunts, my friends and to all the other incredible women out there, this month is for you…

These days it’s possible to learn another language off a Kindle, perfect smoky eye make-up from a Youtube video and bake a two-tier cake thanks to Pinterest.

There will, however, never be a substitute for family or the lessons in life and love that you can learn from them.

What I take away from the women in my family goes a little beyond traditional Lebanese recipes and the best brand for long-lasting kohl eyeliner.

Never underestimate the importance of your family. Face-to-face time trumps Facebook and Whatsapp every time. I mean, let’s be honest, sure you can keep in touch and text and tweet the day away, but nothing replaces quality time together and the moments you laugh until you cry, the eye-rolls or the timely, pitch-perfect sarcasm at your sibling’s expense.

There’s something oddly calming in the chaos of nine immediate family members all buzzing around the kitchen talking over one another and yelling instructions on how best to prepare the food. And no matter how many times you say you aren’t hungry, they still make food for you.

But best you avoid saying “I’m hungry” at Situ’s house. Unless you are fully prepared to be offered a six-course meal, you never ever use those words. Grandmothers teach us a lot, and my grandmother is no exception. It’s safe to say my Situ knows more about the world, life, and love than almost anyone who will be reading these words.

She’s lived it and not too long ago, celebrated her 80th birthday in style. While over 60 years have passed, she still has Callie and Callie still has Dawn. And as I watched my grandparents marriage growing up, I’ve come to believe in forever again, and the hope that there can be a “happily ever after”.

While most families will walk their guests to the door, say goodbye and then simply walk the guests out while offering a polite wave, mine are a little different.

A Lebanese family will walk guests out to their cars. Then proceed to kiss them on both cheeks at least three times each in between the two or three hugs of course. Then comes the standing at the foot of the driveway to see them off. You’re not off the hook just yet. You wait until you can’t see the car any more before going back inside the house.

It takes roughly 20 minutes to say hello and goodbye at family functions. And then, once you have successfully left and are en route home, you are constantly watching the clock to make sure you get home in a reasonable amount of time so that you can update them on your safe arrival.

Perhaps all our generation has to do now is try to exhibit the same values that have defined us for generations past and aspire to being some of the women we admire most.

I hope that one day I am able to live life with the same fierce dedication to family, a constant sense of humour and honour and the unlimited potential of my children.

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