Organising
BATHONG can we demand an event-organising summit for the South African Film and Television Awards (Saftas) crew?
Just drag them by their noses to a place far away, feed them nothing, not even water and give them lessons on how to organise a large-scale do.
Even though The Venue at Melrose Arch, Joburg, was tasty to host the Saftas nominees gala dinner, Shwa couldn t stop cringing at all the flops the organisers made.
My goodness, first the queue into the venue was longer than those at Jozi s Bree taxi rank at peak hours.
And then the place was so packed with random people some had nowhere to sit.
The shindig started almost two hours late and then we were subjected to about 70 nominees called on stage one by one to receive some certificate and what looked like a medal.
Lord, that process took so long and was so tiring that the only people who stayed behind are those who were really hungry or were just too drunk to be bothered.
I m still ruing my wretched luck that I was placed at a table with a drunk ratchet of girls who didn t know how to keep quiet even when the camera was pointed at them during proceedings... If we were in Orlando West I would have slapped the silly out of them.
Anyway, I have to admit most people looked good and made an extra effort.
We have to give it up to them there cos we all know how hideous some of these actors and actresses look without the help of a makeup artist or a designer.
Comedian-turned-actress and presenter Tumi Morake came hand in hand with her hubby Mpho OseiTutu. Oh these two make marriage look like such an amazing thing.
Tumi also looked good in a long colourful dress that showed off her amazing weight loss.
Actress Nambitha Mpumlwana looked like a human-sized mala mogodu biltong in that horrible dress. I would not be surprised were news to break that she got attacked by a group of hungry men from Limpopo on her way home.
We have to give it to actress Brenda Ngxoli who looks like she has been attending how-to-be-sexy classes.
And, oh that girl has a new overkill catwalk that gave Shwa stomach cramps from laughing.
She walked in with actor Warren Masemola, and yours truly could only pray that these two are not together just for the sake of the kids!
Spotted actress Nthathi Moshesh looking so stressed out. Did all your debit orders go through, darling?
She wore a black lace dress with a chunky necklace. Mara you must just put your weave back on sisi, that Mama Dorah natural hair look is not for you.
Kelly Khumalo was meant to perform later on but I think most people were already tired and left by then.
I don t know why the Saftas organisers are forcing presenter Katlego Maboe down our throats.
Shwa has nothing against the boy, in fact I feel he is going to make a good mkhwenyana to some Mrs van der Merwe one day but I don t think his MCing skills are for everyone s taste.
Actor Vusi Kunene is a very goodlooking old man. He also has a good aura about him... His award nomination is very well deserved.
Actor Motlatsi Mafatshe also caught my eye, riding solo. So what happened to wifey bhutwam? Shwa can only hope all is still well in paradise.
Also saw actors Sdumo Mtshali and Siyabonga Radebe. Shwa has never been so suspicious of a hug like the one Radebe gave Tumi Morake. I shall keep my mouth shut.
The Soweto Opera Quadro provided stunning renditions of popular tracks throughout the show. So refreshing.
Also in our presence was troubled DJ Zinhle who was billed to play at the event. I have to give it up to her for stepping up her looks game that much.
She is starting to look a lot like Bonang Matheba in terms of style. I am not calling anyone a copycat but I have to say I might have seen that hair on a certain current girlfriend of your baby daddy AKA first, Zinhle. Oops or I might be wrong!
The main event will take place at Gallagher Estate, Joburg, next month.
I am not looking forward to the Saftas because the results are always shocking and I am not looking forward to Minnie Dlamini s hosting of the awards either. Yawn!