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A FEW weeks ago I attended the funeral of a stunning and gracious friend who fought the battle for over a decade of this silent killer, cancer. Her husband and sons gave her a befitting and beautiful send-off. Needless to say, I bawled my eyes out and there was not a dry eye there, including some macho men I have known for more than two decades.
October is Cancer Month, and I had been planning to write about the courageous survivors of this terrible disease. The mental strength it takes to fortify oneself while there is quite literally a battle contestant Valentine Mathe may not win the singing contest, but her s is a star that will not dim any time soon. The sultry singer shut down the show with a fierce performance of Whitney Houston s 90 s classic, on Sunday last week.
If viewers weren t paying attention before, they sure are now.
As one of four girls in the Top 10, the songstress has her head firmly popped out above the rest as a strong contender with her soulful voice and smoldering looks that makes for the full package, just enough for a shot at first place.
Her infectious smile and bubbly personality oozes on screen and is fitting to her name, having been born on Valentine s Day.
I ruined an engagement. My mother was not happy that she was pregnant with her fourth child and still not married yet because by that time she wanted to be married already. So my dad cooked her dinner and proposed and then her water broke and I was born,” says Valentine.
It was her dad s love for music that she quickly latched onto as a child when she found herself singing along to his playlist of soulful classics that echoed throughout their house while growing up in the township of Mamelodi. Her high school years saw her taking part in productions.
I had a choir master, Mr Mabena, who groomed me. I remember having massive stage fright where my knees would shake when I had to sing.”
But by the time the singer matriculated, she was well on her way into singing and would perform at weddings with her band. She even landed a resident gig at Priva, a restaurant in going on inside your body, must be tremendous. Not to mention what it must be like for a family to receive the news that someone they love is facing a terminal illness. My colleague has just faced this devastating news about her mother. I wanted to explore the themes of hope, faith and the amazing ability of the human spirit to make itself superhuman until I heard the sad news of Mandoza s death.
On September 18 South Africans woke to the news that beloved kwaito king Mduduzi Tshabalala had finally succumbed to cancer. He Pretoria, where she entertained guests such as former deputy president Kgalema Motlanthe.
However, as many parents do not believe that one can make a career out of music, this pushed Valentine to prove her family wrong by entering Idols.
My mom and sister were totally against me doing music as a career. I had entered a few times before but never made it and my mom was like I should just stop with these auditions.
I did well in science in high school, so my sister said I should study engineering instead but now having come this far in they are my No 1 fans, she laughs.
Valentine who lives with her Mother, a domestic worker, has had to take on major financial responsibilities at a young age since her father abandoned them.
I had a great childhood, I got everything I wanted but when my dad left, life became tough. I had to start working from Grade 8 as a waitress to help my mom out with my school fees.
If I can just do all the things I want to for my mom so that she doesn t have to be a domestic worker anymore that would be such a great achievement for me.”
South African artist Monea is one of her greatest musical influences. I used to sing her songs in my sets at the restaurant. One day she called me and sang to me and told me that I m doing a good job out there. It was such a great moment for me,” she gushes.
After Valentine has her heart set on journalism studies. My mother wants me to get a degree and even if I should win
I ll do part-time classes. As an artist I would like to get my music across the world that even after I m gone that my music still lives on to make an impact.” was only 38 years old when he lost the battle for his life, leaving behind a young wife and children. Mandoza had put up a brave fight, even appearing on stage a few weeks before, despite the fact that the tumour had taken his eyesight. He was a shining example of what each of us are capable of doing in the face of great adversity.
Lately, I have read many accounts of ordinary people who made the decision they were not going to lie down and allow this illness to take their lives without a fight. Young women who beat breast cancer and bare the scars proudly to declare their victory. Human beings from all over the world who are united by a common circumstance, who change for the better, and inspire us all.
So, next time you see someone who is fighting cancer, don t feel pity for them. Instead realise how much it has taken for them to get out of bed, go to chemotherapy and be at the mall or out for lunch. Don t look at them and think that will never happen to me because it can happen to any one of us and it does.
This Cancer Month, I encourage you to educate yourself about the many forms of cancer out there. Find out if any member of your family has been diagnosed because this might determine your risk factors. Get the required annual screening depending on your age and risk profile; early detection is key. Cancer CAN be beaten!