Drawing the line - and crossing some
“Art, like morality, consists in drawing the line somewhere.” Gilbert K. Chesterton
‘Drawing the line’ is a real and relationship-defining action at all levels in the interactions of humans (and animals). Of course personalities, values and the extent to which individuals or organisations are prepared to accommodate the behaviour and actions of others, determine where and when the line will be drawn. Tolerance and patience play their part, but there is always a limit beyond which few are prepared to go.
Conventional wisdom, borne out of many experiences of people reaching their limits, suggests that it is preferable to draw the line at an earlier stage. Much damage and unnecessary fallout could often be curtailed were those involved to follow that practice. Reaching ‘explosive’ level is seldom a good idea.
A reflection by Shonda Rhimes, conveys an interesting perspective:
“At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don’t keep other people out. They fence you in. Life is messy. That's how we're made. So, you can waste your lives drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them.”
The wisdom of that view could possibly apply under certain conditions but we could risk reckless behaviour at times, were we all to model our actions on that advice.
Judgement and discretion should be applied when contemplating drawing or crossing lines.
Perhaps more realistic, are the two quotes which follow: “Every society and religion has rules, for both have moral laws. And the essence of morality consists, as in art, of drawing the line somewhere.” Huston Smith
“The longer we stay in a violating situation, the more traumatised we become. If we don't act on our own behalf, we will lose spirit, resourcefulness, energy, health, perspective, and resilience. We must take ourselves out of violating situations for the sake of our own wholeness.” Anne Katherine, Where to Draw the Line: How to Set Healthy Boundaries Every Day
Happiness, health and wellbeing are closely aligned to the ability and willingness to draw the line at the appropriate time. When principles are compromised, or there is physical danger, a strong call to take a stand is indicated. The “sake of our own wholeness” should carry sway in most instances.
In the final analysis, the observation by Anne Katherine arguably makes the strongest point regarding how and when we should draw our own lines: “Your time is your life. You are absolutely the final authority on how you will use it.”