Take time to figure out who you are

If you ever find yourself thinking “I don’t know who I am,” you might wonder why you might feel this way and what you can do to change that.

During the past week, as I was coaching a group of people on self-mastery, I realised how many people struggle with this particular question. That selfawareness factor.

If you don’t know who you are, the world will tell you who to be.

Identity is shaped by the experiences people have during their lives, particularly during childhood and adolescence.

Children who are raised in a supportive environment receive the care, support and encouragement that they need in order to develop a healthy sense of self. Children raised in less supportive environments where they encounter neglect, abuse or over-parenting, on the other hand, may struggle to forge their own strong identities.

When I say that the world will tell you who to be, the reality is that today, societal influences and expectations can play a very important part in our identities, without our being aware of it.

Culture, media (particularly social media such as Facebook, TikTok and Instagram), religion and gender roles are some factors that can affect how you feel about who you are.

You might also feel challenged when aspects of your identity don’t align with the expectations of the society in which you live.

If you are struggling with issues related to identity and feel that you don’t really know who you are, there are things that you can do to cope.

Finding ways to get to know yourself better and engaging in activities that strengthen your sense of self, can foster and strengthen your individuality.

Helpful ideas:

Get to know yourself better, including your interests, likes and dislikes.

Figure out what is important to you, including beliefs, values, and goals.

Take time with yourself to learn more about who you are without outside pressures and influences.

Build greater self-awareness by practicing mindfulness.

What happens when you love and respect yourself?

You get to say “no” to more of what you don’t want by setting healthy boundaries.

You get to say “yes” to more of what you do want.

You find it much easier to be honest at all times.

You are able to receive good treatment with appreciation instead of guilt.

You are able to reject poor treatment without doubt.

You save time because you no longer waste it on nonimportant thoughts and actions.

The best of all you get to be yourself and not what society wants you to be.

You get to spend time with like-minded people and not people that bring you down or sap your happiness and energy.

Sometimes problems with your sense of self can be related to a treatable psychiatric disorder, including post traumatic stress disorder. By seeking help from a doctor or mental health professional, you can get a diagnosis and the appropriate treatment.

If you feel that you need to reach out, contact SADAG tollfree line suicide helpline on 0800-567-567 (24 hours), or CIPLA mental health helpline 0800-456-789, CIPLA WhatsApp line from 9am to 4pm, 076-882-2775. You can also SMS SADAG to 31393, available 24 hours a day.