3 MOST OVERLOOKED TRAITS OF ADHD
While the textbooks signs of ADHD – inattentiveness, hyperactivity and impulsivity – are well documented, little attention is given to the three most often overlooked characteristics that shape the perceptions, emotions and motivation of people with ADHD: rejection sensitivity, hyperarousal and hyperfocus. Although ADHD equates to hyperactivity and poor self-regulation, if you consider it from the perspective of what everyone with ADHD has in common that people without ADHD don’t experience, a different set of symptoms emerge.
1 An interest-based nervous system
Despite its name, ADHD doesn’t actually cause a deficit of attention. It causes inconsistent attention that is only activated under certain circumstances. This state is not activated by a school assignment or instructions from the boss. It is only created by a momentary sense of interest, competition, novelty, or urgency created by a do-or-die deadline. The ADHD nervous system is interest-based rather than importanceor priority-based.
2 Emotional hyperarousal
Most people expect ADHD to cause visible hyperactivity. This only occurs in 25% of children and 5% of adults. The rest experience an internal feeling of hyperarousal characterised by constant tension and an inability to relax. People with ADHD have passionate thoughts and emotions that are more intense than those of the average person. Children with ADHD know they are “different”, which is rarely experienced as a good thing. They might develop low selfesteem because they realise they fail to engage and complete tasks; also because children do not distinguish between what you do and who you are. Shame can become a dominant emotion into adulthood, as harsh internal dialogues or criticism from others becomes ingrained. To counteract feelings of shame and low self-esteem, a child with ADHD needs support from people who believe they are a good or worthwhile person. The true key to fighting low self-esteem and shame is helping a child with ADHD figure out how to succeed with their unique nervous system.
3 Rejection sensitivity
Rejection sensitivity is an intense vulnerability to the perception – not necessarily the reality – of being rejected, teased or criticised by important people in your life. It causes extreme emotional pain that can also be triggered by a sense of failure. When a person internalises the emotional response of rejection sensitivity, it might appear like the sudden development of a mood disorder, with all the judgement and further rejection that might elicit. When the emotional response of rejection sensitivity is externalised, it can resemble a flash of rage. People develop coping mechanisms over time. While some avoid rejection by becoming people pleasers, others make no effort whatsoever because it causes them too much anxiety.