Another rabbit out of Jacob’s hat

Soon after ordinary folk become politicians, they leave the real world, entering a place of Alice in Wonderland proportions called parliament. Some take on characters created by Lewis Carroll.

You spot them while watching television coverage of Assembly sessions. In fact, the plot, characterisation, choreography and dialogue surpass those of Carroll’s fantasy.

Instead of listening to the rhetorical tripe dished up, I have loads of fun finding faces and actions depicted in Alice.

Had trouble finding an Alice, but cast Naledi Pandor a good stand-in. Her looks of disgust and incredulity at the goings on of the Mad Hatter – who else, but Julius Malema? – tell me she’s the one who accidentally slid down the rabbit burrow.

Speaker Baleka Mbete would like to be Queen of Hearts, but controlling a raucous Assembly is not fit for a queen. The Cheshire Cat comes close.

The White Rabbit? There is more than one president Zuma pulls out of the hat to help him keep his job. In fact, in keeping with rabbits’ habits, they multiply. Latest is Brian “Shebeen” Molefe, evidently earmarked for the finance ministry, negative market expectation reaction ignored. We can expect more long ears jumping out before the magician disappears into the Nkandla bunker.

Then there are the portly twins, Tweedledee and Tweedledum. Sports minister Fikile Mbalula fits both parts. He has the tough job of keeping sports administrators toeing the ridiculous affirmative action line – and also smiling, not unlike the Cheshire Cat, at the camera as if all’s well in the world of sport.

Alice’s elder sister was responsible for waking her up from the dream world. At the moment, there are no takers. Nobody to awaken characters in a world of abused power, money and luxury living. All they have to do is act their respective parts in a parliament reminiscent of a rabbit hole filled with weirdos.

Came across this quote by an American actor that says it all: “Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel”.

It’s up to the citizenry to take the part of the elder sister and end the fantasy though the ballot box in 2019.