Sticky fingers gets to me

Jennie Ridyard

In a supermarket, while doing a battle of wills at the cake counter, I noticed a movement at my elbow. It was a child, small, blond, and running free from his parents. Alas, perhaps the little poppet should have been leashed and muzzled.

Together we studied the buns and pastries, before he licked his finger, pressed it into a sugared doughnut, then sucked it clean.

Next, he went to molest an iced bun with the same finger, picking off the frosting with a grimy nail until a middle-aged busybody – me – went: “Excuse me, dear, but you mustn’t do that!”

He ran squeaking to his daddy. I got a dirty look.

As for the violated doughnut and the sullied bun, well, they stayed where they were, awaiting the lucky buyer who would get a side order of spit and perhaps even a bonus bogey or two, because nostrils are another favourite place for toddler fingers.

So here’s the thing: why are baked goods often displayed openly in shops, but broccoli is shrinkwrapped in plastic, carrots are bagged and oranges and tomatoes are in punnets and cellophane?

Consider bananas: no one’s going to eat the skin, so why bag them up? Avocados too: they’re hygienically packaged by nature, hermetically sealed inside an inedible skin.

The thing is, fruit and vegetables should be washed and veggies, particularly, will generally be cooked at home, killing germs.

Doughnuts, however, will not. Nor will the “artisanal” bread, or the “homemade” cakes and general deliciousness on open display.

But how lovely the goods look, how tactile: you can prod them with unwashed hands, squeeze them, pick them up, sniff them, even have a sneaky lick.

You can fondle them one by one, like the teenagers I saw rifling through the cookies, hunting for those with the most chocolate chips, touch-testing them all.

And then you can put them back.

You can cough on them or sneeze on them, too.

No, I’m not demanding plastic and boxes, because the world needs less packaging – let’s liberate those bananas and butternuts!

However, vulnerable food needs a lid, a layer of glass, something to protect it from the casual gropers and finger-lickers. Please. Because you can’t wash a doughnut.