Instruments overkill

FIAT TIPO: HATCHBACK HAS 219 FUNCTIONS TO GET FROM POINT A TO POINT B

New technology: new cars a lot safer, but you need a PhD.

Here’s something which will shock you. Sitting in the driver’s seat of an average hatchback car, how many functions and pieces of information can you access without moving out of the chair? More than 200 ... True story. Sad person that I am, I spent about 10 minutes in a Fiat Tipo the other day, counting up the various functions, buttons and bits of information which could be accessed by those buttons. I came to 219 ... and that was without the sub-menus and functions you would have in a fitted satellite navigation system.

Don’t believe me? Then go to your car now and count. If it is younger than five years old, you’ll be amazed about how similar to the cockpit of an airliner it is.

So I started thinking back. I learned to drive in a Datsun 1200. From the driver’s seat I could reach the manual window winder and the quarter light window on the door. I could also push down the button to lock the door.

On the instrument panel, there was a needle strip speed reaching to 100mp/h, along with a temperature gauge and a fuel indicator. There were lights for the ignition as well as high beam on the lights, and green arrows for the turn indicators.

I had a light switch – park and dip, and a stalk which activated high beam along with the indicator function. There was a windscreen wiper (one speed only) with a wash function. A mirror, handbrake, clutch, accelerator and brake pedals completed the mix.

Today it would take me at least another 30 paragraphs to describe what is on offer in a Tipo. And the Fiat is by no means a complex car. Some of the luxury marques have handbooks which stretch to more than 500 pages.

I suppose that is the march of technology for you. Cars have definitely become a lot safer than they were in the time of the 1200, although not necessarily more reliable than that ancient Datsun, which is probably still running somewhere...

The vast array of information available to the modern motorist does worry me in some ways. Many cars these days have comfort and convenience features – the toys, I sometimes call them – which can be distracting, even when standing still, never mind travelling down the road at 120km/h.

Even mastering the basics of the modern car can take up a whole chunk of a driver’s brain power (something which is already in short supply in South Africa) and impair other reactions and techniques which are related to car control and safety.

Another reality is that, despite cars becoming more complex than ever, very few manufacturers’ salespeople bother giving the buyer of a new car the training they need. Imagine how long it takes to train a pilot, yet we expect some to be capable of understanding, and handling, an equally dangerous machine in a fraction of the time.

Maybe I should start a campaign to get rid of the “fluff” in cars.

Sunroofs? Gone – waste of space.

Auto-on lights and wipers? Gone. Are you so dim you can’t see when it’s dark or when it’s raining?

Climate control? Gone. Just use an ordinary aircon with rotary controls and an on-off button.

Sat Nav? Gone. Stop and use Google Maps on your phone. It’s more accurate.

Keyless entry? Gone. Seriously – how difficult it is to push the button on a remote control?

Park radar and rear-view cameras? Gone. If you can’t park the vehicle you’re in, get a car where you can. DIY parking improves your spatial awareness, too.

Emergency stop systems? Gone. Learn to read the road yourself and not rely on technology which might not work one day.

Tyre pressure monitoring systems? Gone. Check the tyres yourself, for goodness sake.

Whatever car you drive, spend some time getting to know it. Read the handbook. Understand its safety systems and if possible spend some time in it on a skidpan or a track.

But don’t neglect the most important instrument in any car: Your brain. Don’t drink. Don’t drive when tired. Use glasses if you need to.

And spend some money and get yourself on a professional defensive driving course. It will – not may, notice – save your life one day, in a way that a trip computer never will ...

Vast array of information available does worry me.