Hyundai that’s a Sunday best

TUCSON: THIS KOREAN LOOKER HAS BLING, OOMPH AND A WHOLE HEAP OF STREET CRED

If you’re spending R500 000 on a SUV, it has to be this one.

In Kanye West’s 2005 smash hit Gold Digger, the rapper is painting a grim picture of a man’s troubled financial affairs due to the high demands of his child’s mother. According to West, she sucks the poor fellow so dry, that “you’ll see him on TV, any given Sunday, win the Superbowl and drive off in a Hyundai”.

This never bothered me. But since having the privilege of parking a Tucson 1.6 Turbo Executive Sport in my garage for a week, it does. Tremendously.

What West is trying to say is despite reaching the top of his game, a successful ball-player will have to settle for a less-desirable brand of vehicle because he’s paying exuberant amounts for spousal maintenance.

Not a flashy Mercedes-Benz or Range Rover as you’d come to expect with the territory, but “only” a Hyundai. And conveniently, it rhymes with Sunday.

But very much like a once-acceptable term like spokesman has reached it’s sell-by date, disrespecting the Korean motor manufacturer’s name should be deemed politically incorrect after the launch of this pimped version of the popular SUV.

It’s quite ironic though, that this Tucson could actually fit in rather nicely in one of those typical rap videos of Kanye and his mates which usually features a black Hummer or Merc M Class.

If the Tucson’s sporty front grille and headlights, the eye-catching side scoops, a mean-looking rear boasting four pipe holes or the 19 inch black mags doesn’t get your immediate attention, the majestic roar created by the jaw-dropping 150kW power unit definitely will. By the way, this is actually termed an “unadulterated purr” in the brochure.

And with the amount of street credit this car generated, I’d actually be surprised if it hasn’t featured as the backdrop to a chain-swinging rap solo. But the clever engineers who designated this minx didn’t intend for it to stand still.

And it is because of the way it moves, I’m not in a great position to give feedback on many of the great features it offers.

The model’s bells and whistles include a fabulous touch-screen entertainment system with Bluetooth compatibility and satellite navigation, rear view camera with display inside the rear view mirror (how cool is that?), onboard computer, cruise control and very suave looking leather seats. But, I hardly explored the sat nav and didn’t even connect my phone, because this specific model was built to look windgat and accelerate like hell, both of which unashamedly did in aplomb over the shortest week ever.

And for a guy who generally goes around his commuting very Miss Daisy-like and boasts that he once glided a Toyota Aygo around Joburg to an astonishing 21km per litre over the course of 5 000km, I was uncharacteristically nonchalant on the fuel consumption. So if you press me for an answer, I’ll probably say not great considering the way I went about my business.

When Dr Jekyll takes charge, Mr Hyde’s calculations blows out the window. Guzzling down an extra litre here and there is well worth the fun you get in return.

I’m sure if you had to consider every single one of the SUVs in this class, including the plain Jane version of the Tucson, it will be a very tough call to choose one. Specification-wise I expect them to be pretty evenly matched in such a competitive market. The same goes for space and riding comfort. But add the bling, oomph and street cred that comes with this baby, and it’s game over in my book.

Never mind SUVs, I can honestly not see what other car available new today for R500 000 that will give your ego a similar boost and wake up the racer in you that goes to sleep when you commute in a hatchback sporting exactly a third of the power.

The ultimate compliment my ride got must have been from my suburb’s Steers delivery guy, a real Evel Knievel on his 125cc motorbike, regularly weaving his way way through traffic and never ashamed to skip the traffic light up my street.

He lightened up my final voyage by driving up next to me and asked me to wind down the window at the traffic light right after I smoked him good from the preceding stop street.

He pushed up his visor and stuck his whole head through my window. Followed by a final glance at the exterior, he turned to me and in a look of utter bewilderment asked: “Boss, is this seriously a Hyundai? Eish!”

I treated his newfound respect with probably my finest pull-away and shift into second gear of the whole week. I think his jaw might still be lying there on the corner of President Fouche and Kelly Avenue in Bromhof.

Here’s a thought, Kanye. Chevrolet also rhymes with Sunday.