Slow-roasting the Aussies Saffer-style
The fairly obvious spin-off of watching a cricket Test on the box, is the amazing variety of people who drift in and out of the chosen venue with equally varied interpretations of just how to put the patchwork and dispirited Aussies to the sword and exactly where and when they firmly believe South African captain Faf du Plessis had got it wrong.
The Command Pilot had opened his jet engines to full throttle as Du Plessis had got it all and been trapped to one of those neck-and-crop lbws the first ball he faced from Pat Cummins.
“What,” the Pilot jumped in first with the inevitable rhetorical question, “did Faf think he was doing? A nothing shot to the pick of the Aussie bowlers”.
It wasn’t long before he was again shaking his head and asking yet another question of the Proteas’ reasoning.
“I have never understood,” he said “the reasoning behind sending in a nightwatchman. If you lose a batsman, surely you replace him with a batsman. Especially against the second new ball”.
The Pilot’s misgiving proved correct in two ways; Rabada lasted exactly four balls before debutant Chadd Sayers had him caught for a duck by Matt Renshaw, at which stage the diminutive warrior Temba Bavuma made his way to the crease for an unbeaten 95 he was somewhat unlucky not to convert into a century as the Proteas posted a total of 488.
Australia scratched and scrabbled their way to 221 all out with only a face-saving 53 from Usman Khawaja, a courageous 62 from skipper Tim Paine – with a broken thumb – and a fighting 50 from the ubiquitous Cummins against an attack which looked decidedly disinterested and without teeth or tenacity, gave the scoreboard any semblance of respectability.
“Make them follow on,” said the West Ham supporter, a sentiment diametrically opposed by the Arithmetically-challenged Golfer. “Why?” he challenged. “Do it the way the Aussies would. With the threat of the weather closing in and 2-1 up in the series, you grind it out. You tell the opposition to put on clean socks and get their arses out there.” And that was exactly what Faf decided on, as the visibly tiring Aussies trooped their way back out to the middle of the Wanderers Bullring.
Enter the Dog Handler, whose take on things was that South Africa should declare and make a game of it. Again, the Arithmetically-challenged One was a vociferous opponent of any such thought.
“They will bat them straight out of the game, give them absolutely no chance whatsoever. It’s what the Aussies always boast – as earlier occurrences on the tour have prove to be a myth – play it hard, but fair.”
The slow ritual roast of the Australians continued with Faf – damaged finger and all – getting 120 and Dean Elgar a painfully painstaking 81 ... and still the grind went on and on.