Rassie better have cure for this hangover

There was, if truth be told, a look on the face of the Arithmetically-challenged Golfer that signalled a pent-up frustration, that even a man like himself, never truly lost for words, and was difficult to read to a nicety.

But it was clear that he was cross, angry and also somewhat more than annoyed as he ran the focus over a weekend’s rugby which it is fair to say had not filled him with satisfaction.

“Before we even start talking about Super Rugby,” the Arithmetically-challenged One began, his lips compressed in a razor-thin line of disapproval, “let’s consider what is happening to the Blitzboks ... fourth again in Singapore after losing to the Poms, and surrendering the top of the table to the Fijians. What has happened to the side which swept the championship stakes last season? Finishing fourth is like kissing your sister.

“It can’t be the coaching. Neil Powell has done an excellent job in building a squad without the playing resources available to some of the other top nations. It just looks like the Blitzboks have settled into the same dark mood that seems to have descended on all aspects of the game in this country.

“I sometimes think we just don’t want to win – and you can’t argue that there have been any number of matches which have not come up to what we know some of our Super Rugby sides are capable of.”

The Arithmetically-challenged One paused at this juncture to refill his glass and rearrange his thoughts, but it was abundantly clear to the assembled gathering, that he was about to recover where he had left off and launch into the next phase of his diatribe at full throttle and with all the vehemence of a backwoods Arkansas revivalist preacher at full throttle.

“You cannot tell me,” he resumed, “that a side as businesslike as the Lions can whitewash the Waratahs one week, and then fold against the Reds a week later. I ask you, 24-0 down at halftime! It was a bit like the Lions had somehow managed to send two very different sides to Australia. Not even coming back to 27-22 in the second 40 minutes could make up ... or keep the Lions on top of the log.

“And then there was the Bulls result. But somehow I get the feeling that we should have expected that from a side who have made great strides under coach John Mitchell, but have yet to reach anything like consistency.

“You surely have to admit that after the men from Loftus manage to outscore the Highlanders four tries to two and dominate almost every facet of the game and yet, somehow contrive to lose 29-28 through rank ill-discipline. It doesn’t make any sense to me especially when Jesse Kriel had got over for the try less than five minutes from the end that should have slammed the door.

“I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, Springbok coach Rassie Erasmus’ biggest problem in putting together a national team from Super Rugby is to find a combination to close out a game.”

At this stage, the Arithmetically-challenged One lent back in his seat and sighed ... and so did the assembled company. The lecture, thankfully, was over for another week.