It’s hard to identify fake news

Using the red phone, the president rings Albert Luthuli House. “Good day, this is Albert Luthuli House. If you want covert payments, press one; if you want to speak with the secretary-general, press two.”

The president presses two. “You have reached the secretary-general’s number. If you want to make payments, press one. If you want to find out how to make payments, press two. If you want to speak directly to the SG, key in your contact number and he will get back to you.”

The president keys in his numbers. “Hello, this is the SG’s number. Please identify yourself with your full names and birth date. Then press one.”

“Matamela Cyril Ramaphosa. born November 17, 1952.”

“Hi, Buffalo, fancy hearing from you!” answers the SG.

“We have to meet, Ace. Things are getting out of hand. The pressure is on me to put pressure on you. About the farm in the ...”

“Shush, Buffalo”, interrupts the SG, “don’t mention the name of the farm and where it’s at. Our phones are probably bugged.”

“I’m on the red phone, and if yours is bugged, it’s your fault. Guys at Bossa ... sorry, Global, could’ve sorted that out. But getting back to the problem.”

“Look here, Buffalo, I’ve run out of contacts at Bossa-Global. And what’s more, they’re after the whistleblower who says he’ll continue blowing. So I can’t take the chance to be involved again.”

“Okay, fair enough, but we have to meet to discuss tactics to get the farm off the books. How’s your week look?”

“Sorry, Buffy, this week’s out. I’m jetting down to Durban to meet Jacob on some golf course. He wants to introduce me to an old pal who can help him with his court costs. Apparently this guy has plenty moola and is also willing to contribute to party funds.

“Not only that, you know Jacob isn’t well and requires medical advice. His pal had suffered the same illness in chookie, and there he found a miracle cure.”

“Well, okay, we’ll make it next week, but please pencil in a date. The farm thing doesn’t look good for Chinese investment. Oh, and tell Jacob to relax and retire gracefully.”

“Not if he’s given a new life! Tee-Hee. Cheers, Buffy!”

Fake news?

Nowadays, who knows?