Pros and cons of tiger parenting
BALANCE: TOO MUCH PRESSURE CAN CAUSE ANXIETY SO EXPAND MEANING OF SUCCESS
Also value creativity, emotional intelligence to make a child a thriving adult. Lisa Witepski
Amy Chua first brought the concept of tiger parenting to the world’s attention in her memoir, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. But, what exactly is a tiger parent?
Are you especially strict – more so than the other moms in your circle? Do you place higher demands on your kids to do well? You could be a tiger mom.
Tiger parenting, says educational psychologist Ashley Jay, is a form of parenting characterised by strict rules, with parents pushing their kids to do well in all areas, from schoolwork to extramurals and behaviour.
THE GOOD
All parents want their kids to be stars, right? So, there must be some positives to tiger parenting.
Jay says some benefits include that it may encourage self-discipline in kids and help develop a strong work ethic.
It may also teach kids to challenge themselves, help them get to grips with problem solving, and encourage them to focus on intrinsic motivation rather than external rewards.
THE BAD
There are negative aspects to this parenting style too. It can make kids very self-critical and undermine their self-confidence. notes that kids may also become afraid of making mistakes, and may blame themselves for not being able to be perfect in everything they do. “This intense focus on perfectionism can lead to anxiety and depression.”
THE UGLY
Jay reports that children who are parented this way show “maladaptive outcomes, such as depression, anxiety and poor social skills. “The research also indicates that tiger parenting tends to set enormously high and unreasonable expectations for children, and that there are negative cognitive and emotional effects to having overly demanding goals.”
WHAT THIS MEANS FOR YOU
If you realise you’re prone to pressuring your kids, remember to prioritise your child’s emotional well-being over achievement. Rather focus on building resilJay ience when it comes to coping with schoolwork and the associated stress, Jay advises.
“Finally, it’s important to widen your definition of success.
“Valuing creativity, individualism and emotional intelligence as well as educational achievement is more likely to lead your child to become a happy and thriving adult.”