Maybe time to ‘tickle those Aussie tummies’

Dear Justin Langer

Iknow you are coach of the Australian cricket side, but “intimidating” the players… that is just not on. It has been said by one of the senior players that those under your watch “walk on egg shells around you”.

Come on, man, didn’t you know that as a coach of that national cricket team you also need to be a best buddy, a confidant, a babysitter and a nappy-changer.

Let’s face it, those poor darlings don’t sign up for a multi-squillion-rand pay cheque every year to be told what to do! Heaven forbid. After all, they are grown men and obviously feel entitled to respect in their lofty positions.

Reports suggest you even told one of the players he was no longer allowed to take a toasted sarmie on to the field to snack on when he got peckish.

That is downright cruel, the poor thing could starve to death spending all that time out on the field of play!

Sources say some of the senior players are frustrated at the atmosphere in the team brought on by your shifting emotions and what they see as too much micro management.

I bet most employed people reading this column and employed in the real world are quite accustomed to that and accept it as part of the package, but the precious bunch you have are quite obviously way above that.

The poor bowlers, said one article, are bombarded with statistics and instructions about where to bowl at lunch breaks!

No wonder they want to smuggle take-aways on to the field of play…it is very difficult to eat and listen to instructions at the same time!

I see you retorted by saying “leadership isn’t a popularity contest” and that “if players want someone to tickle their stomachs all the time, then I’m not doing my job”.

Methinks it’s time to invite them all to your pad, throw some shrimp on the barbie, make sure you have an adequate supply of frosties and treat them to a bit of a feast to try and win them over.

Aussie, Aussie, Aussie!