The Citizen (Gauteng)

Unruly child becomes unruly adult

- KEKELETSO NAKELI

We blame society for how our children turn out and lest we forget, we are society. I say this in earnest; I say this thinking of the unaccounta­ble children we are raising who became lawless adults and who create a society that is rich in self-doubt, questionab­le and, sometimes, criminal.

Unaccounta­ble parents, who constantly shift blame in times of error, only reinforce a lesson in children that, if you’re caught in the wrong – the smartest child is the one who can shift responsibi­lity to the point where they garner enough sympathy to get away with bad behaviour.

Many children who grow up to become ruthless criminals, those are the very ones who must not have been taught the difference between right and wrong... they are the children who grew up learning how to steal from society.

We have come to be afraid of the people whom we have birthed... unaccounta­ble children, becoming adults defined by lawlessnes­s. It is these very same adults who must, in turn, raise their own children. What will they teach their children?

To be a reflection of their parents, the aggressors, or to be different from their parents – to be the victim. It goes without saying that nobody seeks to be classified as a victim.

As parents, we really are to blame for how our children turn out – too busy to pay attention, too disengaged and, at times, reclaiming our youth that we lost because we were so desperate to shed it for adulthood. There is not a thing wrong in building a legacy for our children – but what will it be for if we neglect those very children and they end up in the prisons, morgues and rehabilita­tion facilities?

It should go without saying that we are the world that we reside in, good or bad. Though at times we cannot control who our children become – a stable discipline­d home environmen­t serves as a foundation that words can never fully describe.

The question many adults have to ask themselves is, have we given our children this foundation, or are we waiting for the streets to do this on our behalf?

The lesson here for adults then becomes, do not show your children how to shift blame, rather, teach them how to own up to their mistakes.

An unaccounta­ble child becomes a dangerous human who only perpetuate­s what they know. Parents, instead of showing your children how to divert blame, rather teach right from wrong and the important lesson of being accountabl­e for choosing wrong. It is these humans who file into courts for crimes too horrendous to believe.

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