It’s time to stop assuming

Afriend in the Western Cape has a child-minder named Yvonne. I was dogsitting for this friend when Yvonne arrived to introduce herself and we got talking about the pooches.

One of them has a crippled paw – a poor paw if you will – which is the result of a birth defect.

He’s a lovely guy, if a bit of a brak, adopted after he was found wandering on a rural highway, as all the best braks are. He’s all energy and zest, hopping along with his withered leg occasionally touching the ground, or sometimes batting at the air like a paddle. It would break your heart.

So Yvonne was petting this favoured hound and we were lamenting his poor paw when she told me about the day she was out on a walk with the little dog and her young charge.

“This lady pulled up and started telling me off,” said Yvonne, bemused. “She was shouting, asking me if I couldn’t see the poor dog was injured and that I must take it to the vet.”

So this is South Africa: do I need to mention that Yvonne is a coloured woman?

Do I need to mention that the lady in the car was white?

Well, you may argue, she was simply a concerned citizen, a dog lover, and good for her for caring.

But here’s my question: would she have done the same thing if Yvonne was white? No, of course not. My (white) friend walks these same village roads daily with the very same lame dog and nobody has ever chastised her about its limp. Nobody has ever felt the need to pull over and lecture her.

Given the size of the place, it’s likely the selfsame woman has driven past her and the dog many times, and never even blinked.

It’s pure condescension: it’s white people telling black people what they “must” do.

It may be well meant but it’s so damned superior … presumptuous … colonial.

It reminds me of a medical doctor I know – she’s black – who was standing outside her Joburg home, waiting for an Uber, when a BMW pulled up and the (white) guy inside assumed she was “the maid” – and asked did she know any good gardeners. It’s time to stop assuming. We need to check ourselves: are we judging and acting based on skin colour?

And would we behave the same way towards someone of our own colour?